Here's an extended version.....
CREATION OF THE BOXER
On the fifth day of Creation, the Lord made all the animals. He crafted many breeds of dog. There were big dogs, little dogs; long-haired ones, smooth coated and wire-haired ones; yellow, black, spotted and brindle ones.
The Lord viewed them with great pleasure. Then He spoke, "I have made a great variety which none other of my animals can equal, but now I will mold a masterpiece; a dog in which nobility, power, speed and courage are perfectly balanced by beauty, good-nature and friendliness."
Thereupon the Lord took up a piece of clay and shaped from it the Boxer, which looked exactly as it does today, except that its head was like the heads of other dogs with cut-thrust nose. The Lord was pleased with his handicraft and said, "He is good beyond my expectations. I will put him aside for a while, for his clay is yet soft and could easily suffer damage."
But, the Boxer had heard the Lord's words, that he of all dogs was the most beautiful and courageous and began to boast proudly and demand admiration from the others. The smaller breeds were in full agreement and rendered the Boxer his due respect. However, the larger dogs were overcome by prideful vanity, jealous that a medium-sized animal should surpass them.
There were angry words, and growlings and suddenly the Boxer jumped at his tormenters in rage. He forgot that the clay of his nose was still soft. The angry impact compressed and blunted it. When the antagonists were separated once more, the Lord smiled and said, "Since you are my favorite, there shall be no punishment except for all time to come, you shall wear your nose as it now is."
And he who doubts the truth of this tale has only to watch the Boxer in his relationship to other breeds. All smaller dogs he greets with friendliness, remembering their respect and loyalty, but, to this day the Boxer cannot forget nor forgive the tauntings of the larger ones, flung at him on the day of his creation.
-Herr Philip Stockmann, of Von Dom Boxers in Germany
And another cute one I came upon...
How To Photograph A New Puppy
1. Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
11. Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.
13. Put magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
16. Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
17. Call spouse to clean up mess.
18. Fix a drink.
19. Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit/stand" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.
20. Consider buying "older, trained" dog.
-Author Unknown
