Help! Give me reasons not to breed! (long, sorry)

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HeatherJS

Boxer Buddy
Ever have one of those days where you just really wish people would mind their own business? I'm having one of those weeks!!!

My baby Lilly is turning six months old soon and earlier this week I made an appointment to get her fixed. The way my family and friends are reacting, you'd think I made her an appointment to get put to sleep! My boyfriend has a two year old male boxer and EVERYONE has been telling us to breed them. Since the day I brought Lilly home, the constant questions has been "When you breedin' 'em? I want one!" We basically have a long waiting list of people who want one of their pups. The fact that I decided to fix Lilly...they are up in arms over it!

My boyfriend's mom is angry because she had people at work who were "depending on me" to breed Lilly so they could get a pup. Depending on ME? She's six months old!! Ever heard of a shelter, rescue, or even a licensed BREEDER?! The thing that angers me the most is that they all say the same thing: "Don't you realize how much money you could make off of the pups?!" After listing off all of the risks and responsibilities to one friend, he replied, "Yeah, but think of all the shopping you could do with the money you'd make." I DO NOT CARE about the money! I know absolutely NOTHING about breeding, whelping, or any of it. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to risk my beloved pet's health so that I can make MONEY off of her pups!! And if I did it right, after all of the testing I wouldn't even make money! The way they view this and the way they're acting as if I'm doing something wrong...it's apalling.

Sorry but I am just FUMING right now. After getting the e-mail this morning about how people are upset that I'm getting her fixed because they were "depending" on me, I replied listing all of the reasons I'm getting her fixed: who's to say that my boyfriend's boxer will be the one to get her pregnant? what if another dog gets in the yard and she has mixed puppies? What if it happens too early and she's too young and it destroys her? What if something happens during birth and I lose her? What if I have 15 people wanting pups and she only has five...who gets one? Between working and my two hour roundtrip commute, where can I find time to take care of puppies? This is the reply she sent me:"Well Lil never goes outside without us. And you have to give your kids up sometimes. And I would help you deliver the puppies. You could visit whenever possible." Never goes outside without US? US?!?! You don't live with me, lady!! And help me deliver the puppies? How nice of you. What about being around 24/7 for eight-ten weeks to make sure everything is okay?

Without saying to her what I REALLY want to say, how can I make her understand why I don't want to breed Lilly? I mean, I've already explained the risks and some people obviously don't understand. Boxerworld friends, I need to know EVERYTHING involved in breeding, birth, and whelping. And, please, the more responsibility, the bigger the risks, the better. People think that breeding dogs is just a walk a park that leaves your pockets full. How can I make them understand that what I'm doing is best for my dog?
 
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3stripes

Deleted
Maybe I am over-simpifying a complicated situation... but It's your dog - and your choice. You really do not owe anyone an explanation unless you have already promised pups.... which it doesn't sound like you have done. I think that you are making the best decision for Lilly & you! Good luck in however you decide to handle things...

Melissa & Cassius
 
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RubyTuesMom

Boxer Buddy
I know how you feel. Someone the other day asked me about breeding my Ruby when she is older (she is only 3 months now). I told them I already had an appointment to have her spayed @ 6 months. They looked appalled. I didn't really say anything else - she's my dog and I know what's best for her and if I don't know about something I find out.

If someone says they were wanting some pups, maybe you can inform them of some places they can try to get one - shelters, rescue groups, or breeders. Some people just don't know that these are really the best places to get a dog and not from a BYB.

You are doing the responsible thing getting Lily fixed and it really is best for your dog if you don't have the time or energy to do it right (breeding). Hang in there - we're behind you.

Terri & Ruby
 
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HeatherJS

Boxer Buddy
I thought the same thing--my dog, my choice. But even after explaining the increased risk of mammary cancer, losing her or pups in the delivery, too early of a pregnancy stunting her growth and being bad for her...people still don't understand why I don't want to do. They think that charging hundreds of dollars per pup will solve everything. I just want to be able to fire back with a long list of responsibilities and risks to show I did some research and am not just getting her fixed to do it. I really feel like telling people, "Oh, so I HAVE to breed her, huh? Well, once she has the pups, you can come over and do this, this, this, and this. Then we'll talk." I never promised anyone a pup, but from the way the boyfriend's mom is upset you'd think she'd already accepted deposits on them or something. I even told her "Dom (the male) is a licker. Do you really want for them to have other lickers and give them to your friends?" "Well, I won't have to put up with them." *sigh* If only people could be fixed...
 
kpdangermouse

kpdangermouse

Guest
i agree with the others: your dog, your choice.
i personally dont know anything about breeding, and im sure those who do can tell you about everything that can go wrong..

all i can say, is that with leaving your female intact, you run the risk of her developing Pyometra. this is a life threatening infection of the uterus. after diagnosis, most patients will have to undergo an emergency spay. this is a dangerous surgery, due to the unstable nature of the patient (massive internal infection)..there is an alternative treatment, but it is very pricey, and the infection could re-occur. i was once witness to a pyo-spay on a rottweiler bitch...this poor dog's uterus was so filled with pus that it weighed almost 10 lbs.

tell them that you care about your dog, and her quality of life.

~kelly & jezebelle, CGC

edited to add: a pyo-spay can cost up to 10x as much as a normal spay, due to the difficulty of the surgery
 
magoo's_mama

magoo's_mama

Super Boxer
Not a breeder

so I can't give you concrete advice , but I am positive that 6 months is WAY to you young to breed your dog, that much I know. I think 2-3 years would be more appropriate. Tell this to your mother in law that her friends would have to wait that long anyways and in the mean time for the next few yeras you would have to keep Lily away from all other male dogs. Breeding her any sooner could kill her.
I know your family is driving you nuts, but she is your dog and just go ahead and get the procedure done and they will forget about it because it's all said and done.
Also ask her and your boyfriend if they would be willing to take in all the pups that Lily would have, because I can about gaurantee you 1/2 those pups would end up in rescue or shelter because people have no idea how much work goes into raising one of these wiggle butts. And perhaps direct the people on the waiting list to the nearest rescue where they can adopt if they're that interested in having a boxer of thier own.
I hope someone can give you more info on the dangers..
good luck!!

~ Sunny
 
carole

carole

Boxer Insane
Why dont you ask the people who want a boxer from you, why they dont have one. If they really want one what is stopping them getting one. They could be all talk and if you ever did breed, they are the ones that make excuses about not taking a pup.
 
VTbxrFan

VTbxrFan

Boxer Insane
Wow. That's really frustrating that even after you have explained your reasons. I think I would just stop engaging in the discussion at all at this point - it's pretty obvious that they aren't going to listen or understand anyone. This would be my one last remark on the "people are counting on you to breed her" issue: "Lilly is counting on me, as her guardian, to make the best possible choices for her. I am honoring my commitment to her and not breeding her." End of discussion. Not one more word. If anyone asks or brings it up after that, I would just say "My decision is final. I'm not discussing it." I'd repeat that over and over and over again because the minute you engage in conversation beyond that, they'll keep trying to convince you. It's really sad that even when given all of the reasons not to breed, some people just don't get it.

We just adopted our second dog - my neighbor came over the other day and we introduced her to our new addition. The first words out of her mouth when we told her we adopted this one were "Cool. Are you going to breed them?" This woman has seen I don't know how many foster dogs at our house. She knows I volunteer my time with rescue. She knows both of my dogs are rescues. Why on earth can't she comprehend that there is no way in H**l I'd breed my dogs? (And of course it's not possible for me to breed them as they are neutered/spayed.) I'm all for trying to educate people, and I do the best that I can, but sometimes it's like we are just beating our heads against a brick wall.

Good luck and stick to your convictions. You obviously know what decisions are right. How does your boyfriend feel? Maybe it will end the discussion if he gets his male neutered!
 
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jray

jray

Boxer Insane
Please don't change your mind! THe comments to shoot back at them from VTbxrFan are great! You are making the right decision!

Jenny & Oskar
 
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