Help! Chewy made Emily cry!

[Chewy's Mom]

Chewy is 4-1/2 years old, and he totally LOVES our 10 month old daughter, Emily, but the problem is that he has "personal space issues" for lack of a better term. Chewy doesn't like her to grab him, so if he sees her coming toward him he usually just gets up and moves. Well, this morning I guess he didn't see her coming, so she apparently touched him and he totally barked very loudly at her. I was watching from 8 feet away, but from my angle I couldn't tell if he nipped at her or not, but she just totally started bawling. (He has never nipped at her before.) I looked her over and didn't see any little nip marks or anything on her, but I just don't know what to do about my grumpy old boy. :mad: I love him like he's my child, and I need to figure out a way to help him get past his personal space issues. Any ideas?

 

[K8IE]

It is hard sometimes when you have a small child and a dog. Toddler age is the worst, ( I have been there with my son) because they are just getting around and will grab onto the dog and pinch their skin to hold themselves up or sometimes fall or step on them, or grab them around the neck (a very "rude" behavior as far as a dog is concerned) which obviously is not comfortable for the dog. Sounds to me like he is making every effort to stay clear of your daughter so he does not get pinched or pulled on. The best advice I can give you, and I think others will agree, is to NEVER let them be unsupervised. He is doing what he should do, moving if he has the time when he sees her coming, or giving her a warning (a bark or yelp) but sometimes things can get worse if he feels like he is really being "harrassed". The barking can lead to snapping if he is feeling very vulnerable, and unfortunately your little girl is too young to really explain to her what behaviors are innapropriate with a dog. Do not allow her to crawl on him, pull on him or pinch him, the best times to allow any interaction is when you are right there on the floor with them, you can start to teach her and show her how to pet easy and be gentle and in time she will learn to respect his personal boundaries. I think a lot of times we expect our pets to be perfect with our children, but there are times when they are trying to rest or just plain do not want to be bothered, (just like humans) and we have to respect that. As long as he is not acting aggressively he is doing what he should do, trying to give a warning that he does not like what is happening. My boxer gives a warning bark if he is bumped or stepped on or crowded too much, but he has never bitten, he is just saying, "back off a little". I am sorry your little girl got scared, but Chewy probably did too, and that was his reaction. I hope that you have better luck with their future interactions, just remember supervise ALWAYS!!

 

[courtney323]

Monique -

I'm sorry to hear that. :(

Lennox is the same way regarding personal space issues with small children. When my nephew Zander (15 months) gets to rough or too close when he's not in the mood, he will growl or bark. Sometimes Zander will cry, although now he laughs at the dog and says "noooooo Lenny nooooo!" :rolleyes:

It sounds as though his bark either scared Emily or hurt her feelings and made her cry. In Chewy's defense, he was probably just giving her a "warning" the only way he knew how. Poor Em. Hope you can get it all worked out.

 

[Vela]

Most dogs don't like to be grabbed, especially as was mentioned by pinchy little fingers. You are probably NOT going to get him to change the fact he doesn't like it, even if she doesn't mean to hurt him. Little kids do poke and pinch just in the course of walking and investigating. You should always be right in the same room and supervising them closely when they are together, give Chewy a place to "hide" out, such as a kennel or separate room, and teach your daughter than when he goes in there she should leave him alone. It's a tricky situation because you love them both and don't want to see your daughter get hurt, which is perfectly understandable, and she is very young, but your dog has no way to make her stop if she's hurting him, even unintentionally, unless he barks, etc. It probably scared her. Hope you can get things worked out, and make sure to give him a retreat to "hide" in when he needs some space.

 

[Chewy's Mom]

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I guess I was assuming that *Stella* was the "normal" dog, LOL! She lets Emily do whatever she wants. Em pulls her ears, falls on her, plays with her toes, you name it, and Stella doesn't mind. But it sounds like most dogs would act more like Chewy, and not appreciate all the poking and prodding. I'll work on teaching Em to be gentle, and giving Chewums a place to hide out. Oh, and I'll work on supervising more closely too.

 

[courtney323]

Hey Monique - For what its worth, Stella probably is the "normal" one

Maddie let's kids do whatever they please (even if it hurts her). The only thing we have to worry about is her licking them too much in the mouth, LOL.

Good luck

 

[jaimie]

Hi Mon- I have had a similar thing happen with Keely and Brandy. Normally Brandy is the snuggly boxer that LOVES the kids. Zeus is the one to play with, he just doesn't care to "snuggle" unless of course he wants the blanket you happen to be snuggled with. Keely decided she wanted to get up on the bed, she climbed over Zeus who could care less then she was on top of Brandy-more on her back legs & butt area. Brandy turned around growled and then lunged at Keely. She didn't open her mouth but did give her a smack with her head like she was going to bite. It freaked me out. I was all worried think Oh Crap now I am going to have a dog that bites my kids. We decided that when Keely is up by me, we teach her to BE NICE and pet Brandy. Brandy gives kisses and lets her pet her all she wants. But when Keely starts getting playful & wrestles with us when Brandy is up on the bed, Brandy needs to get down. (Hubby doesn't allow them on the bed anyway-I do LOL). It has worked out great so far and Keely always says, "be nice bran bran be nice and then good girl bran!" We make sure of course that we include treats in with it. They get the "special" treat when we do this -we break out the STRING CHEESE!

Give it a try and when you see Em toddling over to Chewy, distract them so they don't meet up inbetween. Brandy has started to get up when Keely irritates her instead of growling, but for the most part I make sure it doesn't get that far!

Give Em smooches for me!

 

[Vela]

Many dogs will tolerate the things little kids do, but there are many who don't as well. Both of my dogs tolerate little kids, unless they are around my female's back legs if she's laying down, that scares her because if someone lays on them or falls on them it hurts her bad leg. But neither have lunged or barked or gotten cranky with kids and we have tons of little kids over often. A lot of dogs just can't take it though, and those are the type who need close supervision and a place to hide out. And even great dogs who usually get along well with little kids can be ill, in pain, or just having a bad day so it's hard sometimes. Chewy just sounds like one that doesn't care for it and Stella sounds like a saint=) I am glad he didn't hurt her but you are right to keep a close eye.

 

[iloveboxerz]

I wouldn't worry too much...

My boys were 5 when we brought our son home. My son has grabbed their ears and various other parts and even made them yelp, but they have never snapped or bitten him. I always correct my sons actions and he hugs them and gives them a kiss on the head and tells them he's sorry. They will let him do almost anything to them. If they are not in the mood for him they go in my room and get on my bed, my son never follows them. I always try to be in the room when they are all together, you never know. Good Luck!!!

Kathy