Hooray for you! I agree with all and I, too, got to the point one night where I thought "this is it, something has to give/something has to change".
I have 4 rescues of sorts:
- #1 I've had since 10 wks old; now 12-1/2. Requires meds for seizures and incontinence. Hard time walking
- #2 I've had since 6 mos. old; now 11-1/2. Diabetic for last 3 years. Requires insulin shots twice/day also on thyroid meds. Requires special diet. Almost blind now.
- #3 I've had since age 2; now 3-1/2. Requires meds for severe skin & airborne allergies. VERY restricted/limited diet. Came with dog aggression issues.
- #4 I've had since 7 mos old; now 2-3/4. Thankfully, no meds, no special diet, nothing (knock on wood).
#3 is the most challenging. Figured out he's possessive and also paranoid of other dogs. Who knows what happened in his life before us - poor guy. He's so darned good otherwise, just would fight at the drop of nothing. Found both The Dog Listener and Mine, a Guide to Resource Guarding VERY helpful. It's taken a good long time to help him settle in with the "pack". He still has his moments and definitely needs to be reminded daily of who's alpha(me) and of pack order.
One night, after him fighting again (no, we cannot let him fight it out on his own - he will not quit), I was at wits end. I began to second guess keeping him. Maybe we should put him down (no other family would take the time to understand him and uprooting him again would only be another set-back as he's such a sensitive guy, let alone having to deal with his severe diet and allergy problems). It really isn't fair to the other 3. No, perhaps we should put down the oldest 2, who are multiple health problems and they're getting so old anyway. I beat myself up and down, what to do...what to do. I cried for hours, coming to the conclusion that #3 would have to be put down.
Next morning, having cried myself out I guess, I really thought about my "pack" and my so-called decision the night before. H*LL NO, there was absolutely no way I would ever put one of my dogs down strictly for convenience or because it was too hard. There was no way I would give up on any of them. I'm the one that took on the responsbility when I "adopted" them and it's not fair to them for me to quit now. I would make this work, come h*ll or high water!
Then and there, I decided that once and for all, I had to change my behavior around them. I really went back to square one with establishing myself as the Alpha and I don't bend or slack off, not for a day. #3 depends on me being consistent and I owe him that.
I give #3 flower essence remedies for various things - possessiveness, jealousy, etc. I treat all of them the same. The older 2 get special attention only due to their medical needs - help up/down the stairs, etc.
To this day, I am ever so glad I didn't make the wrong decision on a "whim".
We owe this to our "rescues" or our dogs with behavior issues.
We love them, don't we!