Found pups, lost Husband

[CesarsMOM]

Most of you know I lost my Cesar about 2 weeks ago. For me, the house is just too empty without a boxer. Visiting BW and talking boxer is the way I've been working through my grief.

I've been exploring rescue and talking with breeders and my DH was onboard with me. But, now that I've actually found some adorable pups that are almost ready to come, he's done a total reversal.

I'm floored. I know I'll need his help with a new pup. We're a team here and we both love having pups and spend a lot of time with our furbabies.

I'd appreciate some advice ... give him time or try to change his mind? I am so disappointed :(

 

[sminoleboxer]

Try to get him to tell you why he has changed his mind. Maybe he is still grieving over Cesar? He may think he is replacing Cesar and this doesn't feel right to him? Men (as I'm sure you know) can keep theri feelings bottles up so he may be grieving more than you know. Try to talk to him and give him some time. I'm sure he will be willing to get a new baby but he may still need some time.

 

[Louise501]

I think you will just need to talk to him, there must be a reason why he has changed his mind. Maybe he feels guilty, or that it is too soon for him?

I am sure he would love a pup/pups in time but it would be so much better to have him 'on side', good luck!

 

[Beau's Mommy]

Wow! That's gotta be tough! I agree with the others though, talk with him and try to get to the bottom of his recent change of heart. If you know what his reservation is, you will know more about how to handle the situation. Good luck!!!

 

[CesarsMOM]

Thanks all. I have had a chance to talk with him and he says he does want a puppy but he's just not ready. He feels that he has a lot of stress right now and he can't focus on the demands of a new puppy. He's also worried about our existing dog (mix, 7 yrs., who we adopted to keep Cesar company) and how he would adjust to a new puppy.

Do you think a visit to the pups would do the trick? Or, should I back off and give him some time? I've heard conflicting advice.

 

[ladyluck_t]

What I have found out in working in rescue is that everyone has to grieve in different ways. Whenever I loose a foster (health or behavioral loss not adoption) I always want 2-3 months off of fostering. But the adoption coordinator, he prefers to have a dog immediately. Perhaps your husband is still grieving and may not want to try for a puppy right now. Personally, this is such a big commitment and investment that if he is not 100% on board, to me it would be rude not to wait. But that is my opinion, you will need to do what is best for you and your family. Either way, good luck!

 

[Net45582]

If he says he needs time,give it to him......just my thoughts.

 

[CesarsMOM]

I am the "need a new love" immediately type but I'm learning that my husband needs time to warm up to any change in our lives. You guys are so right ... I have to give him time and when we're both ready it will be so wonderful! Gosh, it's so hard to be patient, though! I just love 'em all!

 

[ladyluck_t]

I am the "need a new love" immediately type but I'm learning that my husband needs time to warm up to any change in our lives. You guys are so right ... I have to give him time and when we're both ready it will be so wonderful! Gosh, it's so hard to be patient, though! I just love 'em all!

Of course there is nothing stopping you from calling the breeder and offering to be a "socialization" person for the pups that way you can get some love in . And as a rescue person, my first thought would be for you to call a rescue and offer to spend some time with their dogs, perhaps taking a few foster babies for a walk to give the foster homes some time. But then again I am partial!

 

[CesarsMOM]

Good idea, Lady Luck, I just called the 2 rescues I know about in my area and told them I'm in need of a boxer fix should they need a volunteer.