Dog vs. Wife

[bcoots]

My male boxer Kane is 6 months old. He is a typical boxer, very smart, very full of energy, and very strong willed. I have no problems getting him to do what I ask of him, but my wife does. When I am not around he seems to think some of our house rules go away with me. He nips at my wife feet/ankles when she walks through the room (playfully), jumps on the couch on which he is never allowed, and even has accidents in the house more frequently.

My wife has taken my suggestions and become more involved in Kane's day-to-day life when I am here so he will see her as a leader. She feeds him, takes him out, trains him, disciplines him, etc. She basically does everything I do, but he doesn't act the same towards her.

The low point for her hit this week when he actually lifted his leg and peed on her. This is the first time he has ever lifted his leg to pee on anything. Needless to say, we were both very disappointed in him.

Any suggestions to help me, her, and Kane out would be much appreciated.

 

[tianthai]

I had a very similar problem when I first hired a dog-sitter. When he was with her he would forget all the rules and also bullied her such as nipping or jumping, everything you mentioned. After working quite hard to solve the problem. The problems were that my dog-sitter was not consistent and always smiled when telling him OFF or to discipline him. So he did not take her very seriously. Second was her tone, she spoke with him using baby voice. Now I showed her to do the right thing, no smile when discipline the dog, no baby voice. I also hired a trainer to work with her. Now my dog accepts her as one rank above him. When I am home he listens only to me, not my DH, not the dog-sitter. I hope this helps!
Good luck!

 

[nswain]

Grumpy is like this - she used to never listen to her dad, only to me. I think you are on the right track having your wife get more involved... it may take a while, but it will help. You also need to make sure that she is using the same discipline tactics that you do, so the dog doesn't misunderstand. When DH first started trying to discipline Grumpy, he would yell, and she would ignore him. It was only when he started doing things the way she has learned from me - saying WRONG, then turning his back and ignoring her - that she realized what was going on.
It's hard to be patient but if you are consistent, and your wife is too, Kane will get it eventually. Good luck!

 

[BetsyB]

Kane is trying to establish his place in your pack, and is thinking he's higher on the chain than your wife. It's not uncommom for them to challenge to try to elevate their status. His actions should be dealt with quickly and firmly. Try using nilif, especially your wife.

 

[Biff]

I agree your wife needs to re-establish herself as being above Kane in the pack order. She needs to practise NILIF rigourously.

 

[MaggienDeuce]

Everyone has given some good advice and I certainly agree with Biff and betsyb. Start the NILIF and be very strict with it. There is a ton of info on NILIF on BW and it is very easy to understand.

 

[ELubas]

It might be helpful to your wife to keep a collar and short lead on your pup in the house (only when she is with him of course) . She will be able to get control of him quicker(instead of commands to get him off the couch, she just firmly leads him of, if he nips at her, she can get the lead, etc.) . She should also practice sits and downs in the house. She puts him in a down and makes him hold it while she goes about her business. He needs to learn that anything he gets or does not get it totally dependant on her. Does she walk him? Walks together, with him always slightly behind her, will also build a bond and that will lead to respect. At 6 mos they are willful little souls Good luck

 

[natrhymer]

I agree with all other posters, especially with NILIF. My husband and I trained Dieter together, and practiced NILIF almost from the get-go. But, even after a couple of years, I still had trouble with Dieter on walks. I learned that I can't just "pretend" to have confidence, or feign an authoritative stance/voice, I have to really embrace it and believe it. I realized that I was pretending to be in charge on the outside, while I was thinking of all the things that could go wrong/panicking on the inside, which I'm sure Dieter sensed and took advantage of. Don't underestimate the power of attitude; it worked for me, and now I have just as much control of Dieter that my husband does.

 

[Touzy]

Second was her tone, she spoke with him using baby voice. Now I showed her to do the right thing, no smile when discipline the dog, no baby voice.

This is the best advice you'll get!
Shaemus stops dead in his tracks and puts his head down when I use my "Mommy voice" I drop my voice very low and loud .. for instance when he has something he isn't supposed to... and I say "DROP IT". He does and runs.
The voice is so important.
And oppositly.. my DH couldn't figure why the dog seemed afraid of him at first.. and Someone here suggested he use a softer soothing voice. It worked. Things are fine.
Please have her practice a "mommy voice"... kind of like an umpire saying "you're out!". It will help.

 

[mguiette]

Everyone on here has given so much great advice! the baby voice-- a definite no-no. DH also used to have issues with the boys obeying, but were perfect with me. the problem DH would "create" is telling Maximus "off", he would "argue/backtalk" with him, and DH would lose it and start laughing and provoking the backtalk! he still does it, but Maximus knows the boundary with DH too... THAT took work on my part, teaching DH how to discipline!!!

What will we do with CHILDREN!?