divorce

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ty ty's mama

Boxer Booster
This morning, my husband of 13 years told me he wants a divorce. Any advise on how to handle the custody of the dogs? Right now I can handle anything, but the thought of losing them or they going to a foster home . . .
 

Sugarcain

Super Boxer
In all honesty I don't know what I would do in your shoes. In reality I may allow him visitation rights but not custody.
I would think that if that were me, and regardless if it was something that you didn't see coming,or something that had been coming for a long time, first of all I would be mad as heck, because after 13 years you would think that things could be worked out (unless the feelings for each other and the reason for divorce are mutual of course). Second I would be like 'hey buddy, you want a new life? Then go get it, and forget what we had here for the last 13 yrs (literally)". I would refuse to give up my babies.
I aplogize if I sound a little harsh, but if my hubby EVER did that to me (we've been married for 21 yrs but together for 25 since we were 15 and 17), this is what I would hope my first reaction would be.
Sorry that you have to go through this, but hopefully your babies will make it a little easier for you.
 

EAO76

Boxer Insane
Second I would be like 'hey buddy, you want a new life? Then go get it, and forget what we had here for the last 13 yrs (literally)". I would refuse to give up my babies.

I agree. YOU stay put...if he wants a new life HE can leave...the dogs & you stay where you are. Don't make anything easy on him.
 

Lisa Ann

Boxer Booster
First, I'm really terribly sorry for what you are going through. I always try to remember to take the rough days just one day at a time, and that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

In terms of your babies, I heard on the Today Show, from a lawyer, that animals are considered "property", so they belong to whomever "purchased" them. So if you can prove that you were the one that paid for them, then legally they are yours.
 

ty ty's mama

Boxer Booster
since I thought, well forget the vows, I was stupid and paid for everything jointly. But he's already playing games saying he wants one, or both then the next minute neither
 

ty ty's mama

Boxer Booster
ok bare with me here. It's been interesting, not quite the right word but . . .

I feel so completely shamed.

We have had hard times but because he's "unhappy" he's call it quits. lord knows he wanted to do this before all the signs were there. I was/am scared

I relocated to another state for his job. my family is miles away in michigan. I am utterly alone here in frederick

I swear he wanted that way

I'm venting

sorry
 

xenaprincess

Boxer Insane
But he's already playing games saying he wants one, or both then the next minute neither
I wouldn't even entertain him with a response! Sounds like he's trying to push your buttons, and he KNOWS what buttons to push!
Makes me angry when people use children and pets as their pawns in divorce battles. More often than not, they don't want the pets, but instead only want to upset you as best they can! Does he live with you now/still? If so, I would show him the door since he wants the divorce. Tell him that a judge will make the decisions with regards to custody, not him, and until then, you have nothing to say and the dogs are staying in their home where they belong. There are plenty of resources out there that can offer you advise and point you in the right direction with regards to the law and your rights. TRY not to indulge him with bitterness and anger...he'll feed off of it!!
A side-note...I had a lawyer from Legal Aid represent me when my last relationship failed because I was not financially capable of paying for one. She drew up an agreement stating my daughter AND the dog stayed with me and he was entitled to visitation. We never even went to court...he signed. I'm sure he was surprised and a bit intimidated that I defended my rights. We have not seen him since!!
Hang in there...best of luck to you.
 
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