Boxer separation anxiety

[dougknudtson]

My ex-girl freind and her mother loves my boxer, Dogee. So I let her take my dog for a week or two then bring him back. The problem is he when he is there they feed him differently (mostly from their table, steak, tri-tip) and he is constantly catered to. Since they are always home they take him wherever they go. When he comes back home he dosen't eat, gets sick and is generaly lithargic. Separation anxiety. It breaks my heart to see him like this. This can't be good for him and I tried to expain this to my ex and she says the dog should stay with her. We miss him when he is away but I don't want to keep him from my ex. It would break her heart, especially her mother. What should I do? I can't take him to work with me and my son goes to school.

 

[LumeDeLuna]

Separation Anxiety

I think that a whole week away from you on a continuing basis may be confusing your dog as to who it's owner actually is. I'm sorry, but if you want to keep him and not just hand him over, how about just a day visit?

My next door neighbor used to walk my dog during the day, which was so nice of her! But... then I found out she was letting hang out with her at her house with play with her 2 year old. I found out she was letting him up on the couch, and probably letting him run forward on the leash and stuff. She also was taking him with her in her car to the children's play dates! He was still very young, and was still at the age where strangers would encourage him to jump up to them, (and I was the meanie, begging them not to.) Basically, she was sabotaging all of my training!

My solution was to be more exciting. For example, when he heard them outside and would whine to go play with them, I would get some treats and encourage him to play with me instead. I also went on walks with them, so he knew there weren't different rules. Same thing when we were around them. I always gave him treats and rewarded him for his attention and good behavior.

All of the work I did with him was only to correct a few hours a day. I can't imagine having to correct a whole week of someone else with him!

 

[LILYLARUE]

Dog's are creatures of habit, and boxer's especially like a constant schedule. Going back and forth is probably confusing him. Two houses, two different sets of rules, two different training methods, and poor diet every other week. I can see how he may be sickly when he comes back. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the diet and confusing he is experiencing.

You really have to be selfless in your decision. Your feelings and your exes feelings should be ignored. It's about the emotional welfare of the dog. The dog needs to have a "home" where he feels safe, can guarentee the events of the day will remain the same, or at least close to it. It's difficult, if not impossible, to have a well trained dog when there is no consistancy in anything in his life.

So.....my best advice.........do what's best for the dog and let your selfishness go to the way side. Personally, I think your ex doesn't have the best interest of the dog at all. Or she wouldn't be spoiling him with table food. This is dangerous to a dog, especially boxers who have the genetic issues that may surface with this type of spoiling. I'm sure she loves him, but she could possibly love him to death, literally.

Dog's are not like children, in the way of visitation schedules. It's best to have shorter visits, less frequently. If she wants a dog, eventually with less visits, she will get one of her own that she can spoil to death. IMO, it shouldn't be your dog.

 

[BostonGeorge]

I went through this with Boston. He was me and my ex boyfriends dog (well mostly mine). I paid for food, vet visits, day care, toys....everything. He just liked the company of Boston...No training, no rules, yucky food. While Boston loved him, I could see that the back and forth was hard on him. Eventually I had to put my foot down. My ex's family adored him, but it wasn't the best environment for him to be in and I was his MOMMY! Dogs adapt quickly. For someone that was in his like for the first 2 1/2 years on almost a daily basis, it hardly seemed to affect him. We continued with our daily lives...to normal routine of park visits, walks and play time.

If you are your dogs primary care giver and have his best interest at heart...he needs some consistancy. It will be harder on your ex and her mom than it is on him. And who are you looking out for? The dog? Or your ex girlfriends family?

And if you see that he loves doing things with your ex family...who is to say you cant have fun with him?? Make your time special!!!!! He will love any attention and love you can offer!