Blizzy kept her end of the bargin..I HAD to keep mine
- Thread starter Donna1969
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Donna1969
Boxer Insane
my heart aches..
I miss my girl so much. I keep doing things as if she were still here. In the days since her passing,I have put food and water into her bowls and called her for her breakfast. Don't ask my why I just don't wash the bowls and put them away. I still push my chair back as quietly as possible so I won't scare her..even though I don't need to do it now. I still reach down while in bed, reaching to pet her..and get overcome with body shaking sobs when I realize she's not here. Someone came to the door and it scared me half to death because in 8+ years, no one has gotten to the door without her letting me know with a low warning growl, even at her sickest..she still did it. I dropped some ham on the floor and walked away. A bit later I went back into the kitchen, saw the ham and called..."Itty Bitty Blizzy...fair game" which was our "code" for food on the floor...and when she didn't come bouncing in, I started looking for her..
The house is soooo eerily quiet. I swear I catch a glimpse of her. Drying my hair today, out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw here laying at the top of the stairs watching me, just as she has for the past 8 years, it was strange actually having to dry myself after the shower..she wasn't there to lick me dry. I was so much better the day of her passing than in the last two days. I am ok and then I come here and read all your posts of support and sympathy and I loose it, or I am working on the PC and out of know where I loose it.
And I am totally thinking I crazy. The day of her passing I went and grabbed all the sheets and blankets that were on her bed and washed them. I also washed the other bed she had wet the night before. But I couldn't bring myself to take a shower yesterday.My reasoning was I didn't want to wash off her smell from me...and I have done laundry but refuse to put in the clothes I had on the day she passed..again, don't want to loose her smell, or the stray hairs that cling to it. But I leave her downstairs bed untouched..exactly the way she left it..bones and toys askew as if its a memorial site..i think i have lost my marbles.
My just turned 4 yr old finally asked where Blizzy was and with tears, I told her..she cried and cried but she's ok now..Oh how I wish I could just bounce back..
I have random images of her last minutes..I can see her last look in my eye, her last breath, how she looked when it was all over, as if in a peaceful sleep..how i wish she had just one more slobber kiss for me..she hadn't given me one in days..even with prompting, and to see a nubby nubby wag..that wasn't in the cards either...
Sleeping is out of the question..I just cannot fall asleep and when I do..its restless...eating isn't something that intrests me at all either...i know it will get better..i just want her back so badly.
Thankyou all for all your concern and sweet posts..it does help.
I miss my girl so much. I keep doing things as if she were still here. In the days since her passing,I have put food and water into her bowls and called her for her breakfast. Don't ask my why I just don't wash the bowls and put them away. I still push my chair back as quietly as possible so I won't scare her..even though I don't need to do it now. I still reach down while in bed, reaching to pet her..and get overcome with body shaking sobs when I realize she's not here. Someone came to the door and it scared me half to death because in 8+ years, no one has gotten to the door without her letting me know with a low warning growl, even at her sickest..she still did it. I dropped some ham on the floor and walked away. A bit later I went back into the kitchen, saw the ham and called..."Itty Bitty Blizzy...fair game" which was our "code" for food on the floor...and when she didn't come bouncing in, I started looking for her..
The house is soooo eerily quiet. I swear I catch a glimpse of her. Drying my hair today, out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw here laying at the top of the stairs watching me, just as she has for the past 8 years, it was strange actually having to dry myself after the shower..she wasn't there to lick me dry. I was so much better the day of her passing than in the last two days. I am ok and then I come here and read all your posts of support and sympathy and I loose it, or I am working on the PC and out of know where I loose it.
And I am totally thinking I crazy. The day of her passing I went and grabbed all the sheets and blankets that were on her bed and washed them. I also washed the other bed she had wet the night before. But I couldn't bring myself to take a shower yesterday.My reasoning was I didn't want to wash off her smell from me...and I have done laundry but refuse to put in the clothes I had on the day she passed..again, don't want to loose her smell, or the stray hairs that cling to it. But I leave her downstairs bed untouched..exactly the way she left it..bones and toys askew as if its a memorial site..i think i have lost my marbles.
My just turned 4 yr old finally asked where Blizzy was and with tears, I told her..she cried and cried but she's ok now..Oh how I wish I could just bounce back..
I have random images of her last minutes..I can see her last look in my eye, her last breath, how she looked when it was all over, as if in a peaceful sleep..how i wish she had just one more slobber kiss for me..she hadn't given me one in days..even with prompting, and to see a nubby nubby wag..that wasn't in the cards either...
Sleeping is out of the question..I just cannot fall asleep and when I do..its restless...eating isn't something that intrests me at all either...i know it will get better..i just want her back so badly.
Thankyou all for all your concern and sweet posts..it does help.
Austin's Mom
Boxer Insane
You're not crazy. You just love and miss your baby terribly. I can see myself being the same way, I know someday it will come. Everyone deals with the loss in their own way and in their own time. And I believe you did see Blizzy watching you, I believe they will always be with us watching over us. Huge ((((hugs)))) to you.
[I have to remember not to read these posts while trying to eat lunch at my desk. ] You have me in tears again as I read your last post and it gets me thinking about my KOKO and Cassius who are both at the bridge with your Blizzard. I know what you are going through. It does get better with time but it never completely goes away - which is good because you never want to forget them. You would not be normal if you weren't doing and going thru what you are. Blizzy is still with you and always will be. She's now an angel watching over you and your family. 
.
.Nope not crazy! When Cody passed I left his food and water dishes out for months. My neighbor said she almost put them away when I left to go have Cody put to sleep...I would have been so mad if I got home and they were gone!! Laying in bed sometimes I still put my leg out in hopes of touching his back why he is laying on the floor. And sometimes when I pet Duke I feel his ears and compare them to Cody's and the places Cody had bumps I expect to feel them on Duke.
I know exactly how you are feeling. When people would tell me it would get easier I would get mad at them. But it really does. Sending hugs your way.
I know exactly how you are feeling. When people would tell me it would get easier I would get mad at them. But it really does. Sending hugs your way.
Hberry23
Boxer Buddy
Tears :(
I'am sitting here at work with tears rolling down my face, My heart aches for you and your family. I am truly sorry for your loss :( Blizzy's in a much better place where theres know more sickness. I know, it Doesn't make it any easier for those left behind.
Godspeed sweet Blizzy fly free with those beautiful wings we'll all betogether again someday
I'am sitting here at work with tears rolling down my face, My heart aches for you and your family. I am truly sorry for your loss :( Blizzy's in a much better place where theres know more sickness. I know, it Doesn't make it any easier for those left behind.
Godspeed sweet Blizzy fly free with those beautiful
wings we'll all betogether again someday
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Rileyboy
Completely Boxer Crazy
sharing in your sorrow
I'm so deeply sorry for your recent loss of your sweet Blizzy
I know how much your heart is aching right now, but you did the most unselfish thing that you could of done for her, she is no longer suffering.
I know your sorrow from my own loss of our boy Riley who was sick during last Christmas holidays and he held on until 3 days after his 3rd birthday when we knew it was time to let him go peacefully and to suffer no more,
Truly one of hardest choices that we have to make. It’s just so sad when that day does come and we know our fur babies can fight no more, so it is our unselfish gift to them, but even though we know we did the right thing for our babies, it doesn't make our hearts hurt any less.
Just know that Blizzy knew how much you loved her. and how you took such good care of her.
I seemed to find comfort and hope you can too in knowing that our fur babies are pain free and All well again. and running and playing like they did before they got sick.
The thought of our best friends being in such a beautiful wonderful place having so many fur babies friends to play with, makes our grief a little more bearable. talking and sharing the joy that they brought to our lives with the many supportive and Caring Boxer World members who love their babies just as much. BW members truly understand. unlike someone who has never had a special bond with their pet or someone who has never owned a silly wonderful boxer and thinks of their pets as just an animal. Because BW members know Boxers are so much more.
God speed Sweet Blizzy.. You have lots of wonderful new friends & playmates at the bridge wanting to run and play with you. Including my Riley, I’m sure he’ll share some of his slobbery boxer kisses with you. Sending your family lots of (((hugs))) during this difficult time and may the wonderful memories you shared with Blizzy heal your heart and chase away your sorrow.. Vickie & Cody
I'm so deeply sorry for your recent loss of your sweet Blizzy
I know how much your heart is aching right now, but you did the most unselfish thing that you could of done for her, she is no longer suffering.
I know your sorrow from my own loss of our boy Riley who was sick during last Christmas holidays and he held on until 3 days after his 3rd birthday when we knew it was time to let him go peacefully and to suffer no more,
Truly one of hardest choices that we have to make. It’s just so sad when that day does come and we know our fur babies can fight no more, so it is our unselfish gift to them, but even though we know we did the right thing for our babies, it doesn't make our hearts hurt any less.
Just know that Blizzy knew how much you loved her. and how you took such good care of her.
I seemed to find comfort and hope you can too in knowing that our fur babies are pain free and All well again. and running and playing like they did before they got sick.
The thought of our best friends being in such a beautiful wonderful place having so many fur babies friends to play with, makes our grief a little more bearable. talking and sharing the joy that they brought to our lives with the many supportive and Caring Boxer World members who love their babies just as much. BW members truly understand. unlike someone who has never had a special bond with their pet or someone who has never owned a silly wonderful boxer and thinks of their pets as just an animal. Because BW members know Boxers are so much more.
God speed Sweet Blizzy..
You have lots of wonderful new friends & playmates at the bridge wanting to run and play with you. Including my Riley, I’m sure he’ll share some of his slobbery boxer kisses with you. Sending your family lots of (((hugs))) during this difficult time and may the wonderful memories you shared with Blizzy heal your heart and chase away your sorrow.. Vickie & Cody
CinnamonDog
Super Boxer
Oh, Donna. I can barely see to type. I have so many tears running down my face. God bless you and your family. Blizzy was so lucky to have you in her life. Godspeed sweet Blizzy. :(
My Calla
Boxer Insane
Donna, I am sitting at work crying and my heart is aching so badly for you. I am so terribly sorry for your loss and I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling. I put myself in everyone's situation when reading these posts and I fear the day anything happens to Calla. I cannot imagine her not being in my life everyday. Again, I am terribly sorry. Godspeed sweet Blizzy......
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