At the End of My Rope ( and sanity)

[George & Charmin]

I hope no one takes offense to this post. I realize everyone here loves their dog(s), and i'm sure you all have perfectly loving and wonderful "furbabies". I once was optomistic, anxious, and rather happy about bringing our boxer into our home as a part of our family. Xaiver came home aprox. the 1st week in Nov. We routinely went to the breeders home to visit and give him toys prior to the homecoming so that he would be adjusted or at least comfortable around us before being separated from his littermates and mommy. We interviewed countless Vets until we found one that was perfect for our new baby. To make a long story short, we looked forward to having him love us and our 2 babies ( 6 & 2 yrs old). it was suppose to be wonderful! I joined this site before he even came to live us b/c i wanted to research the breed and make sure we weren't jumping in head first. however, our little darling is now 9 1/2 wks old, weighs aprox.15 lbs and is a horror to have in the house. My husband( who never had a pet as a child) is in total denial about how Xaiver is wreaking havoc in the house. For starters, he bites everyone. We were told this was because of puppy 'teething'. I didn't believe it but i accepted it.... Until now Because he tries to bite if you attempt to put him in his kennel! We were advised to buy a prong collar for training, until he's 10 wks and is able to have formal training. It doesn't work.! He still tries to bite. He jumps on my children after being told not to. even though his is playing with them, it is not something either of them likes! He barks at us, he tears up everything he can get his hands on, he attempts to eat out of the trash can (even though he eats more than enough) he digs holes in the backyard, and he still pees in the house. I hate to crate him, but he's so out of control that i put him there as a form of time out. Last night, i thought about all the time i had to put him there over the course of the day and it made me cry. I don't want to alienate him from us, but GOSH, it's easier for him to be there than to be out wreaking havoc on everyone. We need help or Xaiver is going to have to leave our home. We love him, but we also have kids who are very young and i don't want their concept of pets ruined by his outrageous behavior. I am open to all suggestions. We did months of research before we decided on this breed. the reason we choose boxers is b/c of the "supposed" love for family and KIDS! HELP....

 

[malinda]

I feel your frustration and don't give up. Megan was what I would have referred to as a terror for the first month. Never having had a dog when I was growing up I often had moments when I thought I was way over my head. She cried for days, chewed on everything and did a lot of jumping.

Part of the key is patience, persistence and practice. When Megan bit me, when she was playing I held her mouth shut and said "no biting mama". When she jumps and she still does at 7 months old, I tell her "no jumping".

My husband had a hard time with the digging aspect and to this day I laugh. No offense it is a dog and dogs dig. I just take that as part of her life. We set up boundaries as to where she can dig and it seems to be working.

As for housebreaking use the crate, it is a god sent. It helps a lot in training them. I hated putting Megan in there and if anyone can testify to how hard dogs are to crate train I can. Megan barked at the crate, protested about going in it for months. I really thought she would never crate train but now she doesn't think twice about it. The other thing is your puppy is still young, the bladder is not fully developed.

Dogs take a lot of care and time to get them the way you want them. It would be great to bring a dog home and have it crate trained, not chewing on everything, not jumping and not doing anything else you want it to do. That would be a perfect world and we are not a perfect world by any means.

I hope I didn't discourage you, my point is the puppy is young he needs love, boundaries and training. I think obedience school would work great, when he is older enough to go. Until than maybe you could check into having a trainer come into your house, if you feel the need to do training before hand.

Chances are it will get better. Hang in there.

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Mom of Megan-flashy, female, fawn boxer. Natural ears and docked tail. Born 5/23/00.
<A HREF="http://people.ne.mediaone.net/younme/megan.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://people.ne.mediaone.net/younme/megan.htm </A>

[This message has been edited by malinda (edited 12-20-2000).]

[This message has been edited by malinda (edited 12-20-2000).]

 

[misty]

George and Charmin-

I know how you feel. My husband and I spent weeks researching different breeds and we both decided on the BOXER b/c of their good nature with people and children. I've also been told they are very loyal companions. We got Wrangler when he was 7 weeks old from the breeder and now he is 7 months old. When we first brought him home, he would bite everyone and anything! He was very dominant, growling and jumping, but was very good about not have accidents in the house.
I enrolled him in puppy kindergarten (obedience class) at 3months old. I was told he was too young, but I did it anyway. He was very responsive. Boxers are very smart, but I have to keep in mind he is still a puppy. In fact my husband will sometimes yell at him when he misbehaves and I have to remind Jason(my husband) that even though Wrangler is 55lbs he is still a puppy and still mentally developing. He stays in the house and we crate him 8-9 hours a day due to work.
He loves Peanut Butter. I started a routine that in the mornings before I leave for work after he has eaten and gone outside he immediately goes to the crate for a treat. I bought a "kong" toy at petsmart, rubber toy with an opening to place treats or peanut butter or both in. I put a big spoon of peanut butter in the kong and that is what he can have in the crate. Now when you pull the pb jar out of the fridge he takes off for his crate. The obedience class taught us how to practice with him everyday to learn, sit, down, stay, and come. He love people but does not do well around other dogs. He is a very dominant dog, even with us sometimes. I plan to enroll him in another obedience class after the first of the year, just so he can be socialized with other dogs. Good luck with your boxer! It gets better!!!

 

[Aimee]

I can understand where you are coming from but you must learn to be patient with your puppy just as you would have your children. They are very similar. You have to teach manners to your children and reinforce them just like you do your puppy. They don't know better. During your research I am sure you found that his behavior right now is NORMAL. You must shape him into the dog you would like him to become and this takes, lots of time, love, patience and a routine. You must have a routine. I learned the hard way with mine when she was a baby and it could have been alot easier if only I had known the right way to do things. Obedience is a godsend, enroll as soon as your are able. Do not crate your puppy when he has been bad, this creates an environment where the crate is a bad place and he will fight you not to go into it. This must be a good place for him to go and offer him treats when he goes in. Try feeding him in there in the beginning and this will associate a positive with the crate. Learn to tell your puppy NO when he is doing something bad, show him what to do and then PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE!! If he jumps, tell him down, make him sit and then tell him "Good Boy". You must do this consistently. If you alienate him this will only encourage bad behavior because this is how he learns to get your attention. Take your puppy out frequently and always use the same que "go potty" or whatever you choose to use. This is so very important. Please have patience, your baby is a commitment...you wouldn't get rid of one of your children because they didn't behave the way you wanted them to...invest some time in this little man...persistance is the key :D Good-luck!

------------------
Aimee

Proud mama of ----
Lexi, 3 year old spayed red fawn female, docked tail and natural ears (ball of fire!!)
Baxter, 5 year old rescue fawn male with black mask, docked tail and natural ears (a true sweetie)
Garrett, 15 year old male miracle sheltie rescue (now waiting at the bridge 12-8-00)
Elvis & Sylvester 5 1/2 year old black domestic short haired twins

 

[Jan]

Everyone has been giving you good advice here. I know it is difficult, but you must be patient. Boxer as puppies can be very trying. Markus drove me crazy when he was a puppy and I think I really hated him a one point. It will get better, I promise. He has turned into a really wonderful dog.

When he bites, give him a chew toy and praise him when he chews it instead. Try and ignore the bad behavior and praise and reward him when he is good. Take him to puppy classes as soon as possible.

It will get better.

Take care,

------------------
Jan
Markus, dark brindle
neutered male, 6 yrs old

 

[Alisha Mobley]

Pru was the same way. She would bite, pee on my carpet, jump on the kids, basically every thing you have already mentioned. The best thing I found to work was obedience training. I know Xaiver is not old enough to attend classes but starting his training at home is the best thing you can do. Also, finding a trainer now and getting everything set and ready to start obedience classes in the very near future is a good idea. Sheeba and Pru both started obedience classes at 3 months. Their shots were completed and the tape was off their ears. They are quick learners and the sooner you start training the easier it will be on both you and the dog.

Pru biting...I did a number of things to get rid of this habit. I would tell her NO! and grab her muzzle, tell her NO! and gently hold her head down to the floor (she was very small and her head was about 6-7 inches from the floor anyway), and tell her NO! and hold my hands up so she couldn't reach them. Holding my hands up usually would cause her to stop and just look up at my hands like she couldn't figure it out. We couldn't even pet Pru without her biting and chewing our hands. Every time I would pet her and she didn't bite I would praise her and also taught my kids (then 3 and 5) to do the same. You can never give enough praise when your Boxer is behaving.

Pru jumping, chasing, and nipping at heels...As I stated above my kids are very young and very seldom walk thru the house, they seem to think running is much better. Pru would always without fail chase them and bite at their feet and jump on them. At first this was so cute but after she got a little bigger it became a problem and harder to break since in the beginning it was cute and not corrected. I had already started teaching her the sit command at 6 weeks. This was very handy in training her not to bite and jump. Every time my kids would run thru the house I would yell Pru NO! and grab her and make her sit until she quit wiggling, then tell the kids to quit running (like that was going to happen :rolleyes: ). Pru was only allowed in the kitchen and living room. This is were I'm almost always at and so I could pretty much watch her constantly and could grab her and make her sit every time she would bite and jump. I have literally dived off the couch before to grab one of my dogs and correct them. Time is against you when correcting a dog. Up until the dog is around 4 years old you only have 2 seconds to correct your dog and they know what it is for. Otherwise they will associate the correction with what ever they are doing at that moment. Be very fast (it's also good exercise :D)

Pru peeing...Pru would pee when I would let her out of her crate. I would let her out and instantly have her follow me to the door to go outside but she would take a few steps and stop to pee. After a few days of this I learned to open her crate door and quickly grab her and run thru the house to get her outside and of course she received tons of praise for peeing outside and not in. Like I mentioned above she was only allowed in the kitchen and living room so I think I caught her every time she started to pee in the house. I would grab her and tell her NO! and carry her outside. Usually she would leave a trail of pee the whole time because once she started peeing she couldn't stop until she was done and by the time I got her out she usually was done but she got the hint. Up until she was about 3 months I carried her outside every time she woke up from a nap, every time she had been playing and would stop, every time she ate and drunk, and every time I let her out of the crate. Even now she still runs straight to the door when she first gets out of her crate. Also I found that it helped to limit their water intake. If you leave water and food out all the time it's much harder to know when they have got a drink therefore you wouldn't let them out. If you feed on a schedule and offer them a drink every hour or so then you know when they are drinking and can take them straight outside when done.

I used Pru as my example because she was my first puppy. Sheeba was much easier because I learned from Pru. Sheeba was never allowed to jump and chew on the kids from the time I brought her home, even though it was so cute, because I learned with Pru that it's not cute later. Boxer puppies are a handful. You will spend their every waking moment teaching them the difference from right and wrong but it will pay off and in the end you will have the best pet you could imagine. Don't be so quick to throw in the towel just yet, the fight for the perfect pet has just begun. Stick with it and follow thru with the training and Xaiver will be the reward in the end.

Also keep in mind Boxers do not mature until they reach 2-3 years old. Xaiver still has lots to learn and lots of maturing to do.

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Tyson - brindle male, cropped ears (6/18/98)
Prudence - brindle female, cropped ears (8/29/99)
Sheeba - fawn female, cropped ears (1/17/00)
Alisha - Indiana

 

[Alisha Mobley]

I just reread your post and have another comment (as if the first one wasn't long enough :D). I just caught the part about the prong collar. I use prong collars on all 3 of mine for training. The prong collar should be used for teaching obedience commands on leash only. I don't see one being very effective for teaching the puppy not to bite. Mine didn't start using the prongs until they started obedience classes. They were small enough before the classes began for me to grab them and put them in the sit, down or heel. I would put the prong collar on them for them to get used to the feel of it before classes began but it was only on them for about 5 mins at a time. Prong collars are very effective for obedience training but just like any other training device if your not properly taught how to train and use the collar it will not help. My advice for the prong collar is to talk with the trainer you choose to use and get their input on prong collars. They may use a different method of training therefor the prong collar wouldn't be of much help. Good Luck with the training and remember obedience training should always be fun for you and your dog.

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Tyson - brindle male, cropped ears (6/18/98)
Prudence - brindle female, cropped ears (8/29/99)
Sheeba - fawn female, cropped ears (1/17/00)
Alisha - Indiana

 

[Pierpoint]

It seems most people here can relate. Bailey was 5 months old when we got him and he jumped and bit quite often(and yes, it hurt!). He mostly wanted attention. He's chewed baseboards, tables, and electrical cords (we didn't buy a crate right away - big mistake!) The part that really got me was the crying. It was so bad that I was very close to giving Bailey to a family with a boxer who lived in another city (because I couldn't deal with seeing him with someone else in our city). I cried all night as I pretty much made the decision until my husband actually said "no way" (and he's the one who wasn't particularly excited about getting a dog).

Bailey is now 1 year old. He loves his crate. I can't imagine we didn't get one immediately. He's crated about 8 hours/day while we're at work. He's great at night and doesn't need the crate. And on weekends, we spend a lot of time with him. One of the worst things for me was getting past the guilt of crating him. It's still hard but I'm dealing with it. I tell myself - most everyone works too and has to leave their dog so I'm not any different. In the morning, he waits to go into it - he knows he'll get a couple of cookies, a frozen peanut butter kong, a chew toy, etc. He still jumps some but he's still growing up too. He's pretty much stopped biting - sometimes he gets overly excited when he plays but he doesn't bite down hard. We still say "no bite" and "off" alot. Obedience helped and we think we'll do it again in the spring. We purposely bring him around friend's dogs to socialize him as my family has never had a boxer that liked other dogs and I didn't want Bailey to be like that.

Patience is key. I know it's frustrating - you want to scream (and I did my share - especially when he wouldn't listen - might as well bang my head against a wall). And I did my fair share of crying. I would hug him and bawl my eyes out. Any maybe life would still be easier (and defintely guilt-free) if we had given him away. But overall, I love him to death. Can't wait to get home to him, he cuddles with me at night in the lazy boy after his evening run, and I know he loves me even though there was a time when I thought I could have been anyone and he really didn't care.

So good luck. I know it's a big and hard decision. But sometimes, it has to be done. Give it one more try - I mean really try - and then decide. But don't feel bad - been there - and if you can really tell yourself that you did all you could do, then make your decision, know that it's best for the dog, and move on (and at the time, it will be the hardest decision of your life). Sometimes it just wasn't meant to be.

 

[JulieM]

Help me here. You wrote:

"Xaiver came home aprox. the 1st week in Nov. ....our little darling is now 9 1/2 wks old..."

That would mean he came to your house when he was 2 weeks old????? Please tell me this is not the case! If it is, that's the root of most of your problems - he has had no chance to learn appropriate behavior from his mother and siblings. You will need to take their place, and communicate with him in "dogspeak." The book "Calming Signals" by Turid Ragaas is a good one on this subject.

"For starters, he bites everyone. We were told this was because of puppy 'teething'. I didn't believe it but i accepted it.... Until now Because he tries to bite if you attempt to put him in his kennel!"

That's still puppy biting - not necessarily teething, but playing. Try putting him in his crate without touching him - find some yummy treats, and toss them inside - he'll most likely follow. If he's resistant to being in the crate, start with short session (1-2 seconds) and work up. Give him a cookie (treat) *every time* he goes in his crate, and feed him in his crate. Soon you won't have to "put him in" his crate - you'll just say the word and he'll run into it willingly.

"We were advised to buy a prong collar for training, until he's 10 wks and is able to have formal training."

I don't think 10 weeks is old enough for "formal" training, and it's certainly not old enough for a prong collar.

"It doesn't work.! He still tries to bite. He jumps on my children after being told not to. even though his is playing with them, it is not something either of them likes! He barks at us, he tears up everything he can get his hands on, he attempts to eat out of the trash can (even though he eats more than enough) he digs holes in the backyard, and he still pees in the house."

OK - he's a puppy. This is normal puppy behavior. When he gets too wound up, he gets a time out in the crate with a safe toy or chew (something he can't swallow).

Get some clicker training books - "Don't Shoot the Dog" and "Clicker Training for Dogs" by Karen Pryor are good ones. Puppies respond exceptionally well to clicker training, and he'll have a head start on formal obedience. Enroll him in puppy kindergarten when he's had his shots - this is not formal obedience but more of a socialization lesson. Here he'll learn about manners, bite inhibition, etc. that he hasn't learned yet.

When he is biting you, try yelping in a high-pitched voice, then giving him an appropriate chew toy. If that doesn't work, leave the room (thus ending the "game"). I also know a GSD owner who had success teaching her puppy that he got attention/pets only when he had a toy in his mouth. Thus, she could pet him and, with a toy in his mouth, he couldn't bite her. (Of course, now that he's a bit older she is working with him on being petted _without_ the toy.)

"We need help or Xaiver is going to have to leave our home. We love him, but we also have kids who are very young and i don't want their concept of pets ruined by his outrageous behavior. I am open to all suggestions. We did months of research before we decided on this breed. the reason we choose boxers is b/c of the "supposed" love for family and KIDS! HELP...."

Please remember, HE IS A PUPPY! His behavior is not "outrageous" - it is perfectly normal puppy behavior. If he's biting/jumping/whatever, leave the room. If it continues, give him a time out (short, 5-10 minutes to start) and let him calm down. Exercise is also very important - a tired puppy is a well-behaved puppy! Simply letting him go outside won't do - most dogs don't get enough exercise on their own. Start working with him on a leash (flat buckle collar) - don't worry about a perfect heel at this point, just get him to more or less follow you. Or, if you've got a fenced yard, take him outside and run around with him. At his age, he'll most likely want to stick close to you, so if you run, he'll run.

Boxers do have tremendous love for family and kids. He is not behaving like this because he doesn't love you. He is not behaving like this out of spite. He is behaving like this because a) he's a puppy, and b) he has not been taught that this behavior is not acceptable.

Just think of how easy the next puppy will be

Julie

 

[Cindy and Lacie.]

I dont have much to add, but please please get your baby enrolled in a puppy level obedience class NOW!!!!! You will all learn how to deal with him and teach him some manners. Involve yourself, your husband and your older child in this. Also please get a training book asap.
Also I will say that maybe a boxer is not for you, I know you researched and researched but sometimes things just dont work out. I have a friend who just got a new dog. They have been dogless for a year because the last lab just would not bond with thier family and she had to give him up. She felt horrible guilt over giving this dog up, but he went to a home where there is no kids and he is doing wonderful. She was worried about getting another dog of the same breed , but finally they did and I am happy to announce that Cindy has fit into her family wonderfully.
Have patience and if worse comes to worse PLEASE contact a rescue to give you a helping hand.