Adopted boxer afraid of men

[boxermr]

We adopted our second boxer, a female, almost 4 months ago. She is a little over a year old. She is the sweetest well behaved little girl, but we fear she was abused. She cowers and begins shaking every time she sees you holding a rolled up newspaper and other has little quirks.

The problem is she is extremely fearful of men. She begins barking and growling like crazy. She has never been aggressive but she will not warm up, even to our neighbor who trys to give her a bone every day. Any thoughts would be helpful! We feel bad for the poor girl! :(

 

[srennie]

We had this problem with Darby when we adopted her. She was afraid of men, the vet, loud trucks and any noise she couldn't figure out where it was coming from, baby gates, anything held in an outstretched arm, anything with a motor (toys, dremmel,etc.) and she would run and hide if I became frustrated with the kids and spoke to them in a stern tone.

Fast forward almost 2 years and she falls asleep when I dremmel her nails, love meeting new people, loves the baby gate because she knows when she hears it go up that the cat is coming in and she'll get sniff at him and now thinks everything held in an outstretched arm is a toy for her to play with. And, she loves the vet and knows right where he keeps the cookies.

It took about a full year to get her where she is today and it was well worth all of it to see her become the happy, wiggling boxer she was always meant to be.

There was no magic...just patience and reassurance and lots of walks in the park. I'd find men, explain the situation and ask them if I could just stand and talk to them for a bit while they totally ignored Darby. Once she wasn't reacting negatively to that, I'd give them a treat to offer her. Another thing that really helped is that our boston loves everyone and if I had them both out I'd tell people to ignore Darby until she approached them but they could love up Hurley as much as they wanted. That way she got to see that he was being rewarded for being sociable.

With the loud trucks we'd just find as many as we could and walk past them. Every now and then we'd luck out and find a utility or tow truck just running idle and we walk back and forth and back and forth over and over and over and I'd give her commands to get her focus off the truck and onto me.

Any objects she cowered from I'd just put on the ground in front of her and wait for her be curious and praise her when she investigated it.

The dremmel took the longest....I do Hurley's nails with the dremmel so I'd just let her watch from wherever she was comfortable. Once she saw that Hurley got treats during dremmel time, she'd come closer for a treat. Once she sat more focused on the treats then the dremmel, I'd ask her to lay down and touch it to just one toenail and give her a treat. After some time I could do the back feet but she was still not comfortable with the front ones. I literally worked them in one toe at a time.

The level of trust we have between us now is amazing. It takes time, but it is possible.

 

[samsons]

just throwing out thoughts here ~ I am sure you will get a more ' expert" advice from some of our member trainers , ect.

But , when one of my fosters are fearful of something, i basically try to make " that what ever" pleasant. food is a great thing ! USE IT ! maybe bones are not her thing , maybe its cheese or toasted hot dogs - what ever u find that she goes nuts for , STOCK ur neighbor with it !! have them get in a NON threatening position ( to a fearful pup , this might mean sitting down on the ground ) and BRIBE BRIBE !! it will take some time - and get as many ppl that you can to help !! but the tummy wins out more often then fear

if you can enlist more "domestic help" have a man feed her her meals or walk her ( i am assuming you employ NILF ) this also might go a long way in helping her realize men provide for her needs also , and dont - or wont - hurt her.

mind you this is not a easy fix - it takes time - BUT it is FIXABLE !! just like she has learned to trust you ~ she will learn to trust men

pls keep us posted and ask any more ?n that you may have !

 

[boxermr]

I didn't expect to get advice so quickly- Thanks!! We do have another male boxer who lovesss being around people so I hoping that she will see this and follow his suit. She loves my husband and she tolerates a select few of our guy friends with only a little bit of barking and growling at first. She does love treats but hasn't gotten to the point yet where she will take them from anyone she doesn't know very well.

I should mention, I feel like its much worse when she meets people at our home, inside or out. She is less likely to act up when we are on our walks.

Oddly, she is terrified of my brother. (The only thing I can think of is that he might look like her abuser?? Is that possible that she would associate the two?) I feel bad because he wants nothing more than have her like him. Even when we have our family over or a couple friends, she is can not get her focus off my brother. I advise him to ignore her, but she will keep her eye on him and growl if he gets close.

 

[LILYLARUE]

Oddly, she is terrified of my brother. (The only thing I can think of is that he might look like her abuser?? Is that possible that she would associate the two?) I feel bad because he wants nothing more than have her like him. Even when we have our family over or a couple friends, she is can not get her focus off my brother. I advise him to ignore her, but she will keep her eye on him and growl if he gets close.

There are some people that dogs just don't like for whatever reason. All four of my dogs go to work with me, two at a time of course, and there is one guy that three just don't care for. Lily of course is the most vocal about it. He is a nervous type of guy, jittery and doesn't stop moving.....sort of the reason some dogs don't like kids. Next time your bro comes over, watch him. See if he has some body signals or language that may be interpreted by your dogs as defensive or offensive, or even fearful. Try to ignore everything and everyone and just analyze him. Once you see something, see if he is willing to change it. It may help to tell him that people see the same signals too subconciously and react to them ~ dogs just see them instantly where we were trained to be polite and keep our thoughts to ourselves and love everyone. LOL

You can learn a lot about people, by watching dogs. It's very interesting to transfer canine body language and behaviors to the human interactions.

 

[Cami]

Others have given you great advice. I just want to share what has been working with my new pup. She is a bit shy of any new person but warms up quickly. For some reason she wouldn't stop barking at my neighbor (male-older gentleman). Assuming you see your brother often this may work.
I took a spoonful of peanut butter outside and she followed (of course it is yummy).
I walked towards the fence where he was (had told him what I was going to do).
She kept licking the spoon. As soon as she saw him she stopped dead in her tracks and then started her big girl bark....not really but she thinks so.
I took the peanut butter spoon out of her reach.
When she realized she wasn't licking it anymore she stopped barking and sat. For some reason she sits anytime she is trying to figure something out (good for me).
No noise and a sit she got the spoon again. Bark/growl etc....no spoon.
I kept getting closer to the fence, leading her with the spoon and she wasn't making any noises but still watching him.
I gave the spoon to him. He crouched down and stuck it through the fence. Aside from that we were ignoring her. No eye contact from him. Her nose got the best of her and she ventured to the spoon with him holding it and started licking. He pulled it back and she sat. He praised her and gave it back to her. Over and over.
He can now pet her and she looks forward to his attention. All it took was that one time.