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Wrestling with kids...Is it okay?

Discussion in 'Boxers & Children' started by Sidda1018, Jan 10, 2005.

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  1. kerry001

    kerry001 Boxer Booster

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    wrestling with kids

    I don't allow wrestling with Chloe. They could hurt her inadvertently or vice versa.
     
  2. kerry001

    kerry001 Boxer Booster

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    good ideas

    Very good points! Chloe had a tendency to see the kids as littermates when we first got her. She was never mean, but she paid absolutely no attention when they told her "no" pulled on the leash when they held it, nipped at their sleeves, and just generally disrespected them. Occasionally one of the kids would get hurt by her rambunctiousness. allowing the wrestling definitely helps promote that attitude by the dog. She has now pretty much learned that she is the low man on the totem pole, but she still occasionally acts up for them.
     
  3. jbbtlr

    jbbtlr Super Boxer

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    I don't know. Yes, I agree that the puppies need to learn that the kids are "above" them in the pack. But I think that can be done in other ways (like feeding the puppy, making the puppy sit before eating, things like that)and the kids still can get down on the floor and play with them and hug on them.

    I tell my kids, the rougher you play with Koda the rougher he is going to play with you. That is to be expected as far as I am concerned. Just like a kid, the harder you allow the kids to play they are going to do it. But there needs to be a happy medium, both of my kids have gotten hurt because they have gotten to rough. As Koda is learning what is and isn't appropriate so are the kids. It can't all be on the dog. If Koda does get too rough, the kids know to say ouch and stop playing with him. Then once they start up again, he knows to be gentler.

    I don't agree with allowing them to wrestle promotes an attitude. I think that just comes naturally, all dogs can have an attitude. But I think it just boils down to personal preference, what works for each individual family. ;)

    ~~Jeanette~~
     
  4. kassa

    kassa Boxer Insane

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    Hugging is an extremely aggressive act in dog language. It's only used to assert dominance and in breeding. Unfortunately, it's a very human (primate) urge to hug, and one of the reasons that so many children get bitten in the face -- they drop to their knees (or bend over, placing their faces at eye level) and throw their arms around a dog's neck and squeeze.

    The dog perceives this as being pinned down. Most learn to tolerate it from the ones they love, but you can't always be sure what day the dog will decide it's had enough. It's also a bad practice to let your kids do it with your dog, in the belief or even certainty that he'll never harm them, because the next dog the kid tries it on might not tolerate it AT ALL. I've had kids in Petsmart launch themselves at my large and powerful dogs. Do they put up with it? Yes. Would 80% of the dogs in the world put up with it? No way. Those kids are cruising for plastic surgery and their parents are oblivious. I usually try to say "My dogs are friendly but many dogs aren't so you should always ask before touching a dog."

    Boxers are extremely child tolerant, but even if the dog won't do anything, why make the dog endure something just because it feels good to us?

    I highly recommend Patricia McConnell's book "The other end of the leash" which really talks in detail about all the things we do as primates that our dogs learn to tolerate even though they are very bad behavior in dog terms. It's amazing they learn to live by our rules!

    I can't recall if she has the pictures in the book or just talks about them, but there's a section where she talks about looking at pics of people hugging dogs, and in every one you can see that the dog is practically wincing, wishing it were over, while the person has a big grin on their face.
     
  5. Sidda1018

    Sidda1018 Super Boxer

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    I am glad to have gotten a variety of replies and plenty to think about. I don't plan to stop Tikki's wrestling with our boxers. It is a fun play and bonding time for both. I will continue to include Tikki in training and giving the dogs commands so that they know he is above them in the pack. I will also keep teaching my dogs that there is signal or command for playtime and one for them to stop.
    I don't pretend to be an expert of any kind, just love to learn all I can and be the best owner that I can, but I don't agree about hugging. I hug my dogs all the time. They will nuzzle at me or lick me while I hold them. Not wiggling or struggling to get away. In all my years I have never seen a dog attack or even become upset from having someone merely put their arms around them. I understand that it was said that the dog just tolerates it, but I think I can tell from my dogs' body language and expression when they are not liking something.
     
  6. jbbtlr

    jbbtlr Super Boxer

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    My children are very very well informed that they just don't go up to any dog and throw their arms around them. My children have to ask to pet other peoples dogs. That I feel is the parents responsiblity to teach their kids that not all dogs are friendly and not all people like their dogs to be handled by unknown people.


    My other question would be if they consider it an extremely aggresive act when we hug them, do you see it as them trying to show dominance when they are showing us affection in a hugging manner.

    The reason I ask is because our Dalmatian constantly hugs my husband, and Koda hugs on me. They are the ones initiating it, I don't see that as aggresive.
     
  7. kassa

    kassa Boxer Insane

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    I'd suggest that this is their way of saying "Okay, I submit, will you let me go now, please?" Generally dogs are satisfied with being close and touching (they like to sleep touching another), but the grabbing part is what makes them uncomfortable.

    Most family dogs don't bite their children. However, most children who are bitten are bitten by their family dog.
     
  8. Jennifer

    Jennifer Boxer Pal

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    dog hugging

    Hi, my husband and I have 2 boys 7 and 4 and one boxer named Harley:O) We are new to boxers and Harley is our first.
    I'm not an animal expert, but when I read no hugging it kinda made me sad. Tonight I was laying on the couch w/ my 2 boys hugging on them and here comes Harley he actually gave me a hug and layed his head on my chest. That was the sweetest thing ever. I can understand if someone was squeezing the dog or choking the dog while hugging. My boys are constantly playing w/ Harley and HE LOVES IT!!! I wouldn't change anything. That's just my .02

    Jennifer
     
  9. tabu55744

    tabu55744 Boxer Booster

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    I believe that at times all dogs (no matter the breed) want to be left alone. I hug Bradie, but most of the time i'll be watching tv and he will come put his head on my lap and look at me with those big brown eyes as if to say "mommy, I want up" so my only reply to him is to say "yes come up" I have taught Bradie from the time he was brought home (8 wks)that he needs to ask to sit in our lap. Most of the time he does good, he's only 18 wks old. the first thing he does when I let him up is give me a hug. playing is a good way to teach new skills like.... enough play, gentle, and dominance.

    At 9 yrs old I was bit in the face and had to have 5 plastic surgeries to reconstruct my face, the dog owner never trained his dogs (obedience) didnt have the upper command with his dogs.

    I think it ok to play/rough house with your fur kids as long as they and you know when play time is over.
     
  10. Billysmum

    Billysmum Boxer Insane

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    My elder daughter who is now 10 used to play down on the floor with Billy, but invariable he would end up ... erm ... well .... trying to hump her! (he was castrated at 6 mths).

    This was totally unacceptable behaviour and so she was told that she must not get down on the floor to play with him.

    Now she's 10 she seems to have grown out of trying to play with him like this and prefers to sit next to him and give him a hug or a cuddle.

    He's a very good dog - many friends toddlers have hauled themselves up using him as a lever and you can take his food away or take a bone away from him and he just accepts it.

    Can't ask for a better dog with kids than a Boxer.
     
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