Still Grieving

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Tanya

Boxer Pal
On 4/11/02, my husband and I put our beloved Harley down. Just one week earlier, we had just learned that he had hemangiosarcoma, a very fast-growing cancer, and, just four weeks before that, he had a clean bill of health, as far as a clean chest x-ray and blood work. We initially brought him to the vet due to a hematoma (blood-filled cyst) on his neck which we tried to treat for one week to no avail. We now know that that hematoma was the result of the cancer and, we know, that thats why the vet ran the tests because they suspected cancer.

What is so disturbing is the fact that Harley walked into the vet that last time, under his own steam and, the guilt is unbearable. What is making matters worse, is that (warning - graphic) when the vet started the injection, he nipped at her. Was he in pain? Did he know what was happening to him and it wasn't time? I'm sorry folks, but this is what is constantly reeling through our minds despite the fact that he had declined to quickly in just the one week prior. The vet has assured us that if she felt it wasn't time, she would have told us and, she believes that we were doing right by Harley, by putting him down at that time.

My husband is having the most difficult time, breaking down multiple times during each day. I've tried to console him. I've told him what I quoted to another on this board, "we grieve because we loved so well". Our 10-week old furbaby, Bentley :) has helped quite a bit.

I guess we'll get through this, one little step at a time, one day at a time.

Thanks all for "listening".

-Tanya:(
 

VTbxrFan

Boxer Insane
Please don't second guess yourself. You made your decision out of love and compassion for Harley, and that's all you could offer him at the time. I'm sorry to hear that you and your husband are still struggling -- it does take a lot of time, but it will get better. In the meantime, enjoy your new pup. One dog cannot replace another, but it sure helps to replace tears from a lost dog with laughter at the antics of a new puppy. Give him an extra hug when you feel sad.
 

MarinaS

Boxer Insane
I am very sorry for you having such a hard time :( I feel you pain, I was reading through your story with tears in the eyes. Please don't feel guilty, you did the best thing you could for Harley. Only loving owners can help their pets go in peace. If you had waited for a longer time, you could make Harley suffer, and you were wise and kind to free him from suffering and pain. I am sure he is grateful to you, playing happily at the Rainbow Bridge and waiting patiently for his mom and dad to come and meet him.
Meanwhile you can make another pup happy. Give Bentley a lot of love and care, as you did to Harley, I am sure Harley would appreciate this...
Sending you a lot of ((((HUGS)))) amd hope you are feeling a little better now.
 

trudy

Completely Boxer Crazy
Tanya -

Your post struck a cord with me and I can really sympathize with you and your husband......and although you are thinking what if, what if....you need to know in your heart of hearts what you did was out of love, you helped Harley to the bridge in order to save him from unnecessary pain and sickness.

What you and your Husband did was one of the most loyal things a dog owner can do for their dog. We all know how loyal our dogs are to us and we are just as loyal to them, when we take them in and love them we make a promise to them to give them the best lives possible and unfortuantely sometimes that means saving them from suffering and pain the only way we can....

Time will heal all wounds and your memories of your Harley boy will always live on...Take comfort in the fact that Bentley has a big brother guardian angel watching over him...

~ Julie & Trudy
 

Linda/NJ

Boxer Insane
You have my deepest sympathies... It is so difficult losing a pet. Things will get better but you will never forget Harley. Maybe having a new pup around will cheer you up.:)

Linda/NJ
Ginger * June 4, 1997
Flashy Fawn * Natural Earsqueenicon
 

Scorpio

Boxer Insane
So sorry for your loss! But don't feel guilty, you did what was right. Time will heal and instead of tears the future will bring smiles with fond memories of Harley that will live on forever in your hearts! WE are all with you! take care! and give Bentley and hug for me! his must miss Harlye too!
 

Aimee

Boxer Insane
My heart goes out to you and your family. I too struggled with so many what ifs after I had to put Garrett down. I've come to realize that this is normal - we're only human. But do know that you did the most kind and humane thing you could have done for your beloved Harley. (((HUGS))) it does get better, I promise. Do allow yourselves to grieve, it's the most important part of the healing process.
 

rickyj

Boxer Pal
i am so sorry to here about your precious harvey.i to lost my baby on 4/11 . i still to this day brake down at just the thought of my precious breeze.i have her 2 brothers and they seem to give me a look that says we will love you that much more[ if thats possible] we just added another little girl to the family 2 weeks ago[spirt] and it has eased the pain some. we love them so much that it never will seem like we did the right thing. but rest assured harvey knew just like my little breeze that you did all you could so remeber all the love an joy they gave us in the short time they were here. ricky skin dad to chance7-11 -00 bailey 7-11-00 breeze 7/11/00 4/11/02. spirit 4/10/02.
 

Louby

Super Boxer
I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Harley. My heart goes out to you and your husband - what you did for Harley was the most selfless thing a parent can do for their furbaby. Please don't torture yourselves and try to put into perspective the fact that you did the right thing for him and that he loves you for it. Remember the happy days and the joy he gave you while he was with you. You have sent him to a better place where there is no pain.

I hope that as the days go by things do get easier for you both and that in time you will realise you did the right thing for him.
 

Tanya

Boxer Pal
Thank you all

Dear folks,

I just want to send to you our heartfelt thanks for all of your wonderful, warm replies to our much needed support, since our beautiful Harley passed. They helped so very much.

Thank you again,

-Tanya
 
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