Riley Fainted Again (VERY long)

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Gatorblu

Boxer Insane
I wish I could say or do something to help. I know the fear of losing your pup. I live with that too, tho' Thor has never collapsed. (We found his heart problem during a pre-op monitoring.) Thor also has other health issues as well.

I agree you know Riley best. Only you can decide what is best for him, even when it is not the easiest for you. In many ways all improvements they have made in veterinary medcine is such a blessing, however we, the "pet parents", also have to know when to say when. The best advice I can offer is, if it is not a decision that has to be made on the spot, to get any info the vet offers in writing and ask for a day or two do decide. That why you can review it after you leave when your are a bit less emotional and less stressed. You'll be able to process things better, and call back and get answers to questions or look things up online.

I am praying for you and Riley and sending hugs to you both!
 

Boxer_21

Boxer Insane
stub - Thanks! It has been a long road with so many questions and uncertainties, but we're doing the best we can. So far, he's been doing good on this new medication, but we've been here before so we'll have to wait to see what his next check up shows.

darwinsmom, Very true about how fast things can change. We got the scare of our lives over the course of about 5 minutes last Friday. You just never know. I just hope that when Riley's time comes, whether it's by natural death or by me having to help him, that's he's not in pain. I don't want to see my sweet boy hurting. It is kind of weird that you're going through this as well and they were both diagnosed at about the same time. I hope Darwin continues to do well too.

Tuff love, Riley's problems started at a little over 2 or 3 years old when he started to have urinary incontinence. From there he had several lumps and bumps, a few of which he needed surgery for, and now his heart. He's such a happy and sweet boy, it's not far that this is happening to him, but then again I really wouldn't wish this on any dog.

I am trying to focus on the day to day life, but it is very hard. All these "what ifs" and the being overly worried about his every move, it's very draining, but I know I need to try to stop worrying so much and just enjoy our time together.

As with you, I always vision myself having boxers. In fact, before Riley really got sick I had a plan that when I lost my boys I would be going the rescue route for my next boxer(s). I wanted to experience the puppy thing and I did with my two boys, but now, for me personally, I just really want to give back to the breed by giving a loving home to boxers who need one. Going even further than that, I wanted my rescues to be older adults to seniors. I know losing them so soon after getting them will be hard, but I can only imagine how rewarding it would be let an old / homeless boxer finish it's days being loved and pampered. After everything with Riley I still want to go this route, but if I end up going through all of these expenses (which are well worth it) they will definitely have to be spaced quite a ways apart.

Cami, It sounds like we've got some things in common here! I too have spent countless hours and staying up well into the morning reading and searching online. All the while my boy who needs me wasn't getting my attention. It took a while for me to realize it, but once I did I tried to change my habits to focus more on him. I think we're both happier now that I did that.

I'm definitely with you in being scared to open my door. More times than not both Riley and Mason are in the kitchen waiting to greet me when I get home, but when I don't see him when I open the door it does turn my stomach until he finally makes his way out to me. I do fear one day I'm going to come in and he'll have passed away while I was gone. It's just the not knowing.

Gatorblu, Thanks for that great idea. I do tend to jump too fast with certain things and then when I get home I come up with questions or wish I could've worded something differently, etc. It does make more sense to think things through more clearly before jumping to any conclusions. I hope Thor is doing well.
 

kelseighgirl

Completely Boxer Crazy
First off I am so very sorry that you are dealing with these issues. I understand how you feel to the point that I could have written this post. Oct 11, 2010 my Kelseigh collapsed and was diagnosed with ARVC/ DCM with impending CHF. She is on five diff meds twice a day and for the most part has been doing well. We had a follow up in June and the dr said she was no better but no worse either. He did increase her sotalol. Since that visit she has had two episodes with the last one being sept 5. I am very thankful for everyday that I have had with her in the past almost year since the collapse but it has been an emotional journey for sure. I do however live day by day. Each day before I leave for work I kiss her and hug her and make sure I look her in her eyes and make peace with her because I never know if today will be the last. I hate this for her and I hate that this disease has caused me to live on such an emotional rollercoaster. If it were up to her spirit she would live forever but her heart will not allow that I know. All the feelings and emotions you have posted really hit a place in my heart and I will keep you and your baby in my prayers.
( I am typing this on my iPhone so I hope it's not an autocorrected mess : )
 

Lizzie

Boxer Insane
I am so sorry to hear about Riley collapsing. I understand how scary this is when it happens (Diva collapsed a few weeks ago and despite numerous tests and $$$ later I still don't have an answer :( After Monty died suddenly I was terrified that I would come home from work and Diva would have passed also, but fortunately this hasn't come to pass. I have very determinedly, but not always successful, adopted the each day at a time and living in the moment. I recently had four straight days off and every single day I spent with Diva and went all the places she loves going to - the beach being the main one.

My only advice is what Cami said - you know your dog best and trust your gut.

Keep us up to date as to how Riley is doing :)
 

Boxer_21

Boxer Insane
kelseighgirl, I'm so sorry that your girl is having these difficulties. I hope you also have more wonderful time with her. Like you, I also always make it a point to give hugs and kisses before leaving and at night, to both my boys not just Riley. I also tell them that mommy loves them. Some days, especially now it's especially hard leaving the house, but as much as I want to be a stay at home boxer mommy, I can't afford that! All day long I count the minutes until I get to go home to see them again. Luckily I work close enough to where I live so I get to go home at lunch too. I often wonder if they really do feel a sense of being loved (as opposed to more of a pack like trust, etc). Being dogs they do think and look at things very differently than we do, but I really hope they feel it. As much as we love them, I hope that they can feel it too. They have given me so much happiness and I feel as though I'll never be able to repay it to them, at least not in full.

Lizzie, I'm sorry for your troubles. I hope Diva is feeling better and will continue to feel better. Seeing the collapses as they happen is for sure very traumatic. Every now and then the events of that Friday with Riley in the hospital creeps back into my head. Oh how I wish I could erase it. Riley sounds a lot like Diva. I think he too would live forever if he could! That's what makes this so hard. He has so much life, happiness, and a littel bit of spunk in him. He really does enjoy his life. It's so hard watching him having to go through all of this. Hopefully someday the doctors will find a cure for this so other dogs won't have to go through all of this.

--

Riley's next appointment is at 11:30am this Saturday to see how the Amiodorone is working. If all goes well he'll be coming home wearing a 24 hour holter. This is the only place where I'm sharing that bit of info (my friends, family,... nobody else knows) as I'm terriifed to say it to anyone else. My stomach is already in knots. I swear I'm developing anxiety of this whole thing. I may go see my doctor if it keeps going like this. It's kind of ironic that before his collapsing incident I was also nervous about going out of fear of getting more bad news, but I always calmed myself down by saying to myself that it was only a check up and that "I wasn't losing him today", well that Friday smacked that thought clear out of my head. At least I made the appointment as early as I could so I won't be sitting and waiting all day....
 

Tuff Love

Boxer Insane
Good luck with your appointment! Sending lots of good luck vibes your way. Try to remain positive. I know how easy it is to get worked up. When I found out how sick my Tuff was after we saw the neurologist, I was pretty much in a constant state of anxiety, depression, and instability that lasted from then on to well after his death. I went through periods where I couldn't eat for days on end, I couldn't sleep, I cried daily, I couldn't function normally around my friends and family because my thoughts were just consumed by Tuff. It was without a doubt the roughest period of my life to date. My poor husband grieved in his own way and I just felt terrible because he had to see me go through that day in and day out for such a long time. I wish I had some advice I could give you about something that I learned or how I overcame.. but I really can't. I coped horribly. The only thing I can offer is what I said before... try your best to push the bad thoughts away so you can enjoy Riley while he is here- wether it's 1 day, 1 month, 1 year, or 5 years. We'll be thinking of you. grouphugicon
 

Stub

Completely Boxer Crazy
What Danielle said. I pre-grieved over Toby for years, (starting when I found his first lipoma, because I was SURE it was cancer, but of course it was not and he had many more in following years) and although I could not help myself, I can't help but think now that it was a waste of time to sit and cry over him rather than sit and pet him and let him feel happiness from me instead of him trying to 'fix' my tears by his kisses. I have sometimes wondered if he didn't hang on much longer than he should have, because of my grief when he was still with me.

I hope your test results are good!! grouphugicon
 

Boxer_21

Boxer Insane
Thanks guys! I am trying to stay positive. All day today I kept telling myself that it will be a good appointment. I am still nervous though. As I said though, I'm glad I made the appointment early so I'm hoping to sleep in a bit tomorrow morning, get ready, and head out. The less time to sit and think about it, the better!

The plan for tomorrow is the same as it was 2 weeks ago today. He'll be getting an exam, bloodwork done (to recheck since he's been on this new med), and an ECG. If the ECG comes back good, they will put the 24 holter on him to see how that looks. If it comes back bad.... well, I hope it won't.... but if it does I'll have some big decisions to make.

As for Riley's status on this new med. The first few days of being on it he was kind of blah. He wasn't acting sick or anything, he was just pretty quiet. I did expect that though. His prior overnight stay in the hospital was the same. I think he just needed the time to recover from the stress of everything. Gradually, he has gotten better. I took the afternoon off from work today to be with him outside since it was dry (we just had tons of rain) and cool outside. This is his favorite weather. He loves fall when it's nice and cool. He played quite a bit outside. He had a lot of spunkiness and bounce in his step! So nice to see!

Tonight I had to run to Petco to get my lizard (bearded dragon) some food and got both my boys each a new toy. Mason of course loved his and has been carrying it around all night. Riley loved his too and played for a while before he crashed on the bed. I told him earlier that he's going to get a check up tomorrow and told him it's ok to be nervous, but that I don't want him to give me any scares like he did last time. We'll see if he listens to his mother! I'll post an update when I get home tomorrow.
 
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