Need advice

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Lisa M

Completely Boxer Crazy
Hi everyone, I have a question and everyone here was so wonderful when we first got Capser, I thought maybe you can help again. Our lab mix is 13 years old, she is loosing weight, having accidents and nearing "the end". (She's been to the vet lots in the past 6 months and we are doing all we can to keep her healthy and dignified.) I'm afraid that we are getting close to the time when she will have to be put to sleep. Of course, we wish that it wouldn't come to that, but it looks like it might.

I've had Sumi since she was just 9 weeks old. Our vet will come to the house for the appointment, which is what I think will be best for her since she really dislikes going to the vet's office.

But what about our boxer during this time? He has been with her for over 5 years - ever since we've had him with us. Will it be best to have him stay with a friend during this appointment? Will he be confused that Sumi just disappears one day? Should he see her before she is cremated? Or should he be home with us the whole time?

I know that it is going to be a very hard day when it comes, I don't want it to be harder for Casper than it has to be.
I think it is best to have your boxer there to say goodbye and see Sumi after she is gone. I have worked with many vets, and sadly performed many euthanasias and many times we have clients bring their other dogs with them to be present so they can see/smell their pals and realize that they are "gone". For Sumi to just disappear would be more confusing. As strange as this may sound, being there will give your boxer closure and she will understand that Sumi has passed away and he will not be as confused when Sumi is gone. He will probably still mourn the loss of his friend and may be a bit depressed for a while, but it is better that he see her and know she is gone.

That said, I am so sorry you are having to make this difficult decision. It is never easy to say goodbye, my heart goes out to you. Kisses to Sumi and Casper. and a big hug for you and your family as well.


Super Boxer
Lisa, I feel for you. It is a very personal decision to make, but I agree with Jill.

I just went through a similar thing last October when I lost my Ginger to cancer. When I knew it was her time, I was so focused on HER and making sure she knew she was loved that I forgot about Dexter. The thought briefly flashed through my mind that I should take him with us to the vet's office, but I ignored it. And truthfully, I didn't want him to have to ride home after with her body (I brought her home and buried her in the yard).

But I made a big mistake... I didn't even let him see her body or say goodbye. I even left her collar in my Jeep for weeks. The only thing I DID was take him to see her grave, hoping he would understand. He was really confused and sad, and searched the house for her constantly. He was not himself at all. He's a pretty "vocal" guy, and didn't say much for weeks. UNTIL I finally brought her collar in and let him sniff it. And what a moment that was!!! I put it on the floor for him to sniff. He sniffed it for a moment and walked directly to me and put his paw in my lap. I grabbed her collar to let him sniff again and he didn't want to, he put his other paw in my lap.... like he was saying "mom, I understand now, why didn't you tell me so we could deal with this together?" He DID understand after that, and came back to being his old self.

So yes, definitely let your boxer see Sumi's body at the least. They understand and mourn just like us.

I know this is a painful and difficult time for you. My heart goes out to you.
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