Lost my bed to the dog bit of a serious rant

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Deacon

Boxer Booster
my girlfriend I have had deacon for a year now this week. Well she let deacon sleep with us when he was younger I told her no but she would let him in the bed when i left anyways then he began to do it at night and now it is all the time. So much to my regret I gave in when she wanted to let him sleep with us at nights. now 1 year later and 50lbs more i no longer get a good nights sleep due to the dog kicking me and waking up at 6am to play. I tried many times to make him sleep on the floor but he does not he jumps back up when we fall asleep. I mentioned it to her but it turns into an argument every time about how we let him do it in the past and he will not know where his bed is at if we change. His cage is in 'his room" down the hall and he can stay in there just fine when we leave. Also we stopped giving him the whole room due to him scratching the doors and peeing right after we leave. But when he sleeps in our room nothing ever happens for sometimes 12 hours no pee and poo but the other room is a nightmare. Another things is my girlfriend refers to deacon as our son. I have not said much about this because well it never really bothered me that much up until these last few months when she treats him like a real child. She honestly treats him like a child so much and it bothers me i mentioned that she should make him sleep in the other room and she said well he is our son and he can sleep in here. I am not sure what to do. I bought a bigger bed to accommodate all of us and that did not help. Now i send 3 nights a week on the couch sleeping while he sleeps in my bed. Deacon gets everything he wants toys, love and attention. I feel our relationship is falling apart because we will never have "alone time" he has to go almost every where with us that allows dogs. our personal life suffers as well. He is our "child" so to speak and i am at my edge of ending this relationship so that she can give him full attention. Am i being selfish. Also she never scolds him for doing something wrong i am the one to do it she is good cop i am bad cop

please please help me
 

SherylM

Completely Boxer Crazy
I'm sorry this is probably not the response you were looking for....I sorta feel the same way about my dogs as your girlfriend does. My husband also spends a night on the couch every once in a while because of Avery's horrendous snoring. How about putting the crate in your bedroom, would he settle in there at bedtime?
 

taryndanae

Boxer Booster
Cassius is my baby as well; however, I also have a 3 month old skinbaby. Cassius is not allowed to sleep with us. He is allowed up on the bed ONLY if invited, and that is when only one of us is in the bed.

Do you ever plan on having a child? If so, perhaps you would like to ask your girlfriend what would be the plan then? I love Cassius and I know he would never intentionally hurt Rylind, but sometimes he does not know where his feet are and I would be worried that he rolls on Rylind or accidently scratches him. Therefore, on the bed only when invited...

Just my opionion...
 
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simmons

Boxer Insane
Wow!! I'm really sorry but I had to laugh reading your post :) It will take some time for you to train Deacon to not sleep on your bed. We trained Crash on a friday night...knowing we would probably not get any sleep during the 2 nights.

We have a big comfy bed for Crash and laid it right next to our bed. When he would jump on the bed I'd say "off" and show him where his bed was. Tell him "bed time" and pat his new bed and give him a treat. As soon as he jumped back up...we would do the same thing, over and over again.....for months!!!

Try not to loose your temper and remember it's not his fault that he wants to lay with you. It's going to be hard especially if your girlfriend wants Deacon to lay with her. Just stay repetitive and lots of praise for Deacon. Maybe you can practice on the weekend during the day so he's not interrupting your sleep. Just pretend your going for a nap. I think you both need to cooperate in this, not just yourself.

I wouldn't have Deacon sleep in another room, Boxers like to sleep with thier family. He will just keep you up all night crying...then you'll really hear it from your girlfriend :LOL:

Deacon will get it, I promise!!!! Stay positive and never give up ;)
BTW, your girlfriend isn't the only one who thinks thier furbaby is thier child. Most of us here feel the exact same way :LOL:
Good Luck
 

JulieJay

Super Boxer
I'm sorry this is probably not the response you were looking for....I sorta feel the same way about my dogs as your girlfriend does. My husband also spends a night on the couch every once in a while because of Avery's horrendous snoring. How about putting the crate in your bedroom, would he settle in there at bedtime?

That is a very tough decision you have on your hands. But i would agree with SheryIm. Try putting his crate in your bedroom and go from there. It is going to take some time to retrain him to go in his crate for sleeping, but you can get it done.

I see my pup as my baby but from day one, the bf and i agreed not to have him in our bed or on our couches. Iam hoping that when he is older i will maybe let him up as a special treat so to speak.

Good luck and talk with your girlfriend and tell her how you feel before making any rash decisions.
 

Lola's mum

Boxer Insane
I love my three dearly but could not sleep with them every night, not even one of them. Occasionally Dh lets them up and I have the worst nights sleep ever. When Dh goes away golfing they are allowed up with me but not every night.
I think your girlfriend is being unreasonable to be honest having him up there when she knows you obviously don't like it.
The suggestion of a crate is a good one, hope it works out ok and you finally reclaim your bed.
 

BXRBESTFRIND

Super Boxer
How about getting a big doggie bed and put it next to the bed and if your girlfriend wants to snuggle up to your boy she can go on the floor with him.

Im sorry but I find it a little ridiculous that anyone has to spend the night on the couch because thier dog takes up to much room or makes sleeping uncomfortable. And even worse its affecting there relationship too.

While I view my pup as a memer of the family and even my Dad calls him his grandpuppy, I do my best to ingrain in everyones head that he is A DOG. I truly believe it does any dog a diservice to anthromorphize(treat nonhuman things as human) them. Dogs dont think they are human they KNOW they are dogs.

IMHO Deacon and his owners need to adopt a strict NILIF routine. It sounds like the pecking order in the house needs a change. And both "parents" need to be actively involved.

If your girlfriend takes Deacon side on a serious discussion about all 3 of your relationships, well if it was me thats all I would need to hear...... and i would take the dog.

oh and my pup sleeps in my bed for the record but its just me and him most nights.
 

Goodgirl

Boxer Booster
I love my babies and sleep with them and my SO, but since you have problems sleeping with him I also think your gf is being unreasonable. If you wanted him to sleep in the crate, he would learn to sleep in there just fine. However, I would keep working on the sleeping on the floor thing. Can you tether him to a table or put a hook in the wall that he can't pull out? Then leash him and he won't be able to jump back up on the bed.
I'm not sure how you use scolding for him... but yelling at them usually doesn't do a whole lot to correct a problem anyway.
Treating dogs like children and babying can lead to behavioral problems when their people let them get away with everything just because they are trying to show their love for them.
 

ELubas

Boxer Insane
I love my babies and sleep with them and my SO, but since you have problems sleeping with him I also think your gf is being unreasonable. If you wanted him to sleep in the crate, he would learn to sleep in there just fine. However, I would keep working on the sleeping on the floor thing. Can you tether him to a table or put a hook in the wall that he can't pull out? Then leash him and he won't be able to jump back up on the bed.
I'm not sure how you use scolding for him... but yelling at them usually doesn't do a whole lot to correct a problem anyway.
Treating dogs like children and babying can lead to behavioral problems when their people let them get away with everything just because they are trying to show their love for them.

My thoughts exactly! My girl is not allowed on the bed for other reasons (being nasty to my older male) so we got her a nice bed and did exactly that, tethered her to the leg of the dresser. Took about three days for her to get it and now she either sleeps downstairs on the couch or lies on her bed near us on the floor. We totally ignored her "protests". She is perfectly happy. Dogs just adapt. They certainly should bring joy, not discord, to your family. Take you girlfriend out for a nice dinner and tell her you feel hurt that the dog's feelings come first. No one should sleep on the couch unless they want to, and you do not sound like you want to ! Best of luck and be firm!! :)
 

HurricaneBox

Boxer Insane
I am sorry you are so upset! I have to agree, my baby sleeps in my bed too, but only until my husband comes to bed. We had this discussion when Hurricane came home as a puppy, and while I am more than ok with him being on the couches, beds, etc, my husband was not. Our compromise was that Hurricane is allowed on the couch as long as he is well behaved, and he comes to bed with me and sleeps in the bed until my husband comes to sleep, usually several hours after me (we have very different schedules). Then, Hurricane goes into his crate for the rest of the night, without a fuss. He knows the difference of when I am in bed vs. when my husband is in bed, and he no longer fusses when my husband crates him.

I have to say I am sympathetic to your gf, I too see Hurricane as my baby (we have not been able to have children of our own) and treat him like my child. My little world revolves around him! But at the same time, I do not ignore my husband. It sounds like a little more balance is needed in your situation... a compromise between the two of you that will support your relationship with each other without leaving the dog out in the cold so to speak. We women have a tendency to get a bit more attached to things (maternal instinct, anything furry counts!) than we sometimes should, and it sounds like your gf has gone maybe a little overboard in that she is not really aware of how much this is bothering you. But maybe you need to understand the depth of her attachment to your boxer (after all, you did mention she thinks of him as her child!) and compromise a little with her. Without having to sleep on the couch just to get some rest. ;)

I hope this helps, and sitting down (away from the dog, maybe at a restaurant?) and calmly discussing how you feel and letting her vent about how she feels maybe will help the two of you (and the boxer baby!).

Best wishes to you all!
 
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