Erica&Riley
Boxer Booster
Hi everyone,
I got this email from a friend today...it is so funny! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did...
Dear Pets,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note, placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in
the slightest.)
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually
curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
other stretched out to the fullest extent possible (I also know that
sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end
to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.)
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. (In addition, I have been using the bathroom for
years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cats'
butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for
you.
To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:
1. They live here; you don't.
2 If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son and/or
daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech
challenged. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for
money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never
drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or
smoke, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your
clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get
pregnant, you can sell the results.
Pass this on to all your pet loving friends as well as those who
aren't...it's too cute not to share...
Prayer For The Day: " Lord, please make me the kind of person my
dog/cat thinks I am."
I got this email from a friend today...it is so funny! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did...
Dear Pets,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note, placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in
the slightest.)
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually
curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
other stretched out to the fullest extent possible (I also know that
sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end
to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.)
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. (In addition, I have been using the bathroom for
years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cats'
butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for
you.
To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:
1. They live here; you don't.
2 If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son and/or
daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech
challenged. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for
money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never
drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or
smoke, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your
clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get
pregnant, you can sell the results.
Pass this on to all your pet loving friends as well as those who
aren't...it's too cute not to share...
Prayer For The Day: " Lord, please make me the kind of person my
dog/cat thinks I am."
He waits for me outside the door when I shower too. He hates it when any of the doors are shut. I think he takes it personally. Too cute! Thanks for sharing!
