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Invited to a Bridal shower of someone I hardly know

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Linda/NJ, Jul 16, 2004.

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  1. Linda/NJ

    Linda/NJ Boxer Insane

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    What is everyone's thoughts on going or not going to a shower of someone you hardly know? I just got an invitation to a bridal shower for my husband's coworker's soon to be wife. I just met her last Sunday, we attended their child's baptism. I was not invited to the baby shower last year. Am I obligated to attend this shower? Personally I don't care to go. It is an hour drive from my house and the only way I am going if hubby drives since I am not familiar with the area at all. See what hubby thinks. If I don't go, just send a gift to her later. I hate when things like this comes up for people you hardly know. I know for a fact we are invited to the wedding as well. What would you do?

    Linda & Ginger
     
  2. courtney323

    courtney323 Energetic Moderator<br><img src="/forums/images/mo

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    I personally would let them know nicely that we are "unable to attend" due to other (previous) plans.

    It is up to you as to whether you get them a gift or not. I mean, you do hardly know her?

    I perdonally would get them a wedding gift off of their registry and not go to the shower...

    good luck!
     
  3. HELENE

    HELENE Boxer Insane

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    I am in agreement with Courtney323, I would send my appologies that I couldn't attend due to another commitment, you are not obliged to go.
    Just take a gift to the wedding or go through the registry, that should be O.K.
     
  4. VTbxrFan

    VTbxrFan Boxer Insane

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    I wouldn't go. I know that for some people it's customary to invite all women who will be invited to the wedding to the shower, but I'm not a fan of that theory. No matter what kind of spin people try to put on it, a shower is all about gifts - that's not necessarily a horrible thing because it is fun to give fgifts to good friends and family, but I really believe it should be limited to close friends and family - otherwise it's just greedy. Plus it's just plain awkward when you don't know the guest of honor well.

    I personally don't think that you are ever obligated to attend anything - you were invited and it's your choice to accept or decline. And I'm also not one to believe that you have to send a gift everytime you are invited to a shower - that just goes back to a greed thing. I know people who will invite tons of guests to showers not really expecting them to come but thinking they'll get a gift out of it.
     
  5. Rlr.Giraffe

    Rlr.Giraffe Banned

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    That is one of my biggest pet peeves! I agree with VTbxrFan that gift giving among friends and family can be really enjoyable, but I can't stand the "invite everyone you've ever met" to the shower. Showers can be really awkward... sitting in a room with people you don't know and watching someone open presents. I understand some people want to make everyone feel included etc. but I still don't agree that everyone has to be invited...

    (Can you tell I have been to a few awkward "distant friend or relative" bridal showers.. :) )

    I agree that you should just send an "unable to attend". As for the gift, entirely up to you... depends on what hubby's relationship is with the couple. If he is fairly close, then I would consider sending them a small something.
     
  6. FarleyBoxer

    FarleyBoxer BANNED

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    I probably wouldn't go in your position, but let me tell you one shower experience I had earlier this year. I was invited to a shower about an hour away for a girl I used to work with. I knew when I got the invitation that I HAD to go bc if she was inviting me, she didn't have many people on the list. Know what I mean? Boy, am I glad I went. There were maybe 6 other people there, including her mother and MIL. I felt so bad that so few people showed up.

    Re. a gift, I would definitely send one. Regardless of whether the couple is greedy, they have invited you to their wedding and it is only respectful to honor their day with a some sort of token. Of course, there is no need to send something now and then bring something to the wedding as well.

    An opinion from a Southerner well-steeped in wedding rituals,
    Camille :)
     
  7. marciafinn

    marciafinn Boxer Insane

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    I would probably say I had previous plans and bring the gift to the wedding. If you feel you should send a shower gift, I'd keep it inexpensive and send something small. Good luck! :)
    Marcia
     
  8. firedog

    firedog Boxer Booster

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    I would decline, but send a card maybe with a small amount gift card from where they are registered. I hate going to those kind of parties, when you don't know anyone else that will be there. I am not a social kind of person when I don't know other people around me.:) Good Luck- Rachel
     
  9. ladyluck_t

    ladyluck_t Boxer Insane

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    Ok, i wanna chime in with my opinion too. First I agree with everyone that if you dont want to go, politely decline. But i would recommend going to the wedding since the groom is a co-worker of your husband. Also, i would send a small gift for the shower, perhaps a small basket of bath salts/soaps/candles and such. She may have been told to invite you by her groom who is a co-worker of your hubby, so you arent aware of the dynamics. Also, i would have hubby hand deliver you present and invite decline to his co-worker. JMHO.

    Carolyn and Katie
     
  10. Evie&Adam

    Evie&Adam Boxer Insane

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    ditto for me!! and go with the excuse of a prior engagement. do go to the wedding WITH your DH. Best wishes.
     
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