Julie Davis
Boxer Insane
How to shower like a woman:
1. Take off clothes and place in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at womanly physique in mirror and make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avacado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
6. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes, and wash rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
7. Rinse off conditioner, and then shave armpits and legs.
8. Turn off shower,squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, and spray mold spots with Tilex.
9. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbant second towel.
10. Return to bedroom and spend and hour and a half getting dressed.
AND NOW......
How to take a shower like a man:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on edge of bed, and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake your weiner at her making a woo-woo sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see is you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your weiner in the mirror and scratch your butt.
4. Get in the shower. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
5. Wash your face, wash your armpits, then blow your nose in your hands..then let the water just rinse it off.
6. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
7. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
8. Shampoo your hair, do not use conditioner. Make a shampoo mohawk, then peek out of shower to look at yourself in the mirror again.
9. Pee in the shower.
10. Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
11. Patially dry yourself off, and look at yourself in the mirror again. Flex muscles....admire weiner size again.
12. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
13. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake weiner at her, and make the woo-woosound again.
14. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:
1. Take off clothes and place in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at womanly physique in mirror and make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avacado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
6. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes, and wash rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
7. Rinse off conditioner, and then shave armpits and legs.
8. Turn off shower,squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, and spray mold spots with Tilex.
9. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbant second towel.
10. Return to bedroom and spend and hour and a half getting dressed.
AND NOW......
How to take a shower like a man:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on edge of bed, and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake your weiner at her making a woo-woo sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see is you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your weiner in the mirror and scratch your butt.
4. Get in the shower. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
5. Wash your face, wash your armpits, then blow your nose in your hands..then let the water just rinse it off.
6. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
7. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
8. Shampoo your hair, do not use conditioner. Make a shampoo mohawk, then peek out of shower to look at yourself in the mirror again.
9. Pee in the shower.
10. Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
11. Patially dry yourself off, and look at yourself in the mirror again. Flex muscles....admire weiner size again.
12. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
13. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake weiner at her, and make the woo-woosound again.
14. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:
